# Do all woman walk in backwards?



## OKLAHOMAN (Feb 13, 2013)

I found that Dee had left me a note this morning.






So I left a return note;





She will notify everyone when and where the services will be held.


----------



## airborne_r6 (Feb 13, 2013)

HAHAHAHAHA I guess I better hurry up and order the stuff I was wanting from you while you are still around to ship it.


----------



## 76winger (Feb 13, 2013)

OH, that's SO FUNNY!!!

I HEAR that all the time and never had a good response. Thanks to this I'm going to be in the doghouse real soon I'm sure.


----------



## Justturnin (Feb 13, 2013)

I am cracking up.  Roy, you are my hero..... Too bad you wont be around much longer.


----------



## stonepecker (Feb 13, 2013)

A friend of mine rigged a mercury switch on the toilet seat and that to a red light above.   If the light was on.....the seat was up.

Worked great as a night light also...........after 60 years he is still a bachelor and at the age of 80, still living a peacefull life.


----------



## Haynie (Feb 13, 2013)

Here at school we use whatever bathroom is open as there is such a short time between classes to use the bathroom.  We men got an e-mail about leaving the seat up in the MEN's restroom.  I could understand this e-mail in regards to us men leaving the seat up in the women's restroom.  After a short discussion with the men I taped a note in men's bathroom across from the toilet at about eye level that read

"If you are reading this note please return the toilet seat to it's proper upright position"

The sign did not last 2 class periods.


----------



## Jjartwood (Feb 13, 2013)

Roy,
Is there room for a sleeping bag in the bed of that pretty blue truck?

Mark


----------



## bobleibo (Feb 13, 2013)

I have been laughing so hard my eyes are watering. 

Someone needs to tell the Birthday Bash committee to add a new category - "Bravest Pen Turner On Earth". We already have the winner! 

Thanks for the laugh Roy!


----------



## JMCU (Feb 13, 2013)

You could just do what she said and leave the seat down,  It makes the other problem seem trivial.


----------



## Longfellow (Feb 13, 2013)

JMCU said:


> You could just do what she said and leave the seat down,  It makes the other problem seem trivial.



I do, and then hear about her sitting on pee--


----------



## NewLondon88 (Feb 13, 2013)

a doctor weighs in:

USATODAY.com - Math can resolve toilet-seat feuds

of course, I can post this because I am single.


----------



## Mason Kuettel (Feb 13, 2013)

I'm not too far from OK and my couch is pretty comfortable, as long as you will teach me some pen stuff you are more than welcome!  Maybe one of these years I will have the guts to answer this way but for now I will keep my mouth shut!


----------



## Janster (Feb 13, 2013)

*We are..........*

......going to miss your posts! Where do we send condolences? Good luck and be well. Hope the nurses treat you well!......Jan


----------



## terryf (Feb 13, 2013)

hehe, very brave - next step is to cover the pot with gladwrap/clingwrap or other available see through plastic and then leave the seat down 

Whereafter you will receive a fair trial and a first class hanging!!


----------



## MartinPens (Feb 13, 2013)

I'm with Terry! Your ship is sinking, so you might as well have some fun! Good luck.


----------



## Dee-Dee (Feb 13, 2013)

*He thinks he's funny*

and after 40 years with him I do love him very much and I'll miss him but he's a
*DEAD MAN* ​


----------



## terryf (Feb 13, 2013)

so does this mean theres a close-out sale in the very near future?? :biggrin:



Dee-Dee said:


> and after 40 years with him I do love him very much and I'll miss him but he's a
> *DEAD MAN* ​


----------



## CharlesJohnson (Feb 13, 2013)

Thanks folks.  Haven't laught so hard in a long time.  I really needed it. As resky as it "is", I may just have to try both.


----------



## skiprat (Feb 13, 2013)

When I re-did our bathroom we got one of those cool 'slow-close' lids and the flusher handle is behind the seat when it's upright, so you just give it a nudge and walk away while it slowly closes.

We decided to get one of those lids when I once came home from a week away and the lid was UP !!


----------



## Frank Nemke sr (Feb 13, 2013)

I tell my wife & mother-in-law It's better to lesve it up , than to leave it down.


----------



## mredburn (Feb 13, 2013)

Hey Skip if you"re coming home early it never hurts to call ahead. ....:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:


----------



## jmbaker79 (Feb 13, 2013)

Invest in Slow Close seats, trust me it has saved me a few " put the seat down" lectures! That way she can use whatever is close by to "put the seat down" and I dont have to worry about a broken toilet bowl! Just a tip! Plus they are pretty awesome! Nice she took the time to leave you a note to get the day started!


----------



## johncrane (Feb 13, 2013)

in my house there's 4 ladies soooooooooooo  i have to be careful:biggrin:


----------



## OKLAHOMAN (Feb 13, 2013)

We do have the slow close lids, I've tried telling her maybe it's too slow and she caught it while it's on it's way down.........you should have seen the look I got. For some reason she's been asking if I need the 357 cleaned, what a wonderful wife.


----------



## Boz (Feb 13, 2013)

After one wife and a child and many girlfriends I have determined that men and women were never really intended to co-habitate.


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 13, 2013)

OKLAHOMAN said:


> I found that Dee had left me a note this morning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Have you ever wondered why women think it's ok to complain that we men leave the seat up -- but it's not ok for us to complain that they leave it down?

I mean we raise it so they don't get a wet butt the next time they come in and sit down.


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 13, 2013)

Well we guys were outnumberd 5 to 3 at our house...that went to 5 to 2 then 5 to 1 as the boys were older and left home first.  It finally got down to just me and our hound Chippy as males and he didn't use the inside bathrooms - preferred a shrub near the patio...


----------



## panamag8or (Feb 13, 2013)

I found that the best way to resolve this issue is... do what she wants, and put the seat down when I'm done. This solution has served me well.


----------



## firewhatfire (Feb 13, 2013)

:biggrinut the seat and the lid down, that way both of you have raise the lid.:biggrin:


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 13, 2013)

panamag8or said:


> I found that the best way to resolve this issue is... do what she wants, and put the seat down when I'm done. This solution has served me well.


 Or, sit down yourself - since they got those "water saver" hoppers and my prostrate started growing, I have.


----------



## TellicoTurning (Feb 13, 2013)

I always put the lid down... the dog kept drinking from the toilet then wanted to lick my face...:biggrin::biggrin:


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 13, 2013)

TellicoTurning said:


> I always put the lid down... the dog kept drinking from the toilet then wanted to lick my face...:biggrin::biggrin:



I understand that...Chippy drank from there all the time --- he wasn't a face licker though.


----------



## Exabian (Feb 14, 2013)

Saw this pic and thought it fit perfectly. PS I close the seat and the lid so it fair.


----------



## sbwertz (Feb 14, 2013)

You get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  You don't turn the light on...it might wake you up!  You grope your way to the toilet and sit down...and fall in!!!!  NOT FUN!  This is complicated by the fact that we have one of those elongated seat toilets, so when you fall in you REALLY fall in.  Cold water on the butt at 3 am is grounds for justifiable homicide.


----------



## tbroye (Feb 14, 2013)

Roy

RIP.  
Are they going to remove the seat from around you neck before the services? or will the coffin close with it still in place?


----------



## navycop (Feb 14, 2013)

What if it was like the old outhouses? Just a hole without the lid..


----------



## terryf (Feb 14, 2013)

sbwertz said:


> You get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  You don't turn the light on...it might wake you up!  You grope your way to the toilet and sit down...and fall in!!!!  NOT FUN!  This is complicated by the fact that we have one of those elongated seat toilets, so when you fall in you REALLY fall in.  Cold water on the butt at 3 am is grounds for justifiable homicide.



Pretty much the same feeling we get when we get ricocheted by a high pressure water jet at 3am because you all forgot to lift the damn seat after you were finished 10 minutes earlier!! :devil:


----------



## John Den (Feb 14, 2013)

I'm getting old now!!!
A couple of times I've sat down, myself, without the seat down and.........It's no fun  I can tell you - the whole bottom drops out of your world!!!
It's all right for you youngsters that still have your wits about you.........
Regards,
john


----------



## Curly (Feb 14, 2013)

tbroye said:


> Roy
> 
> RIP.
> Are they going to remove the seat from around you neck before the services? or will the coffin close with it still in place?



Soft close coffin lid!! It doesn't wake the dead. :biggrin:


----------



## OLDMAN5050 (Feb 14, 2013)

What my wife don't get is that is is just as easy to put it down as it is for me to put up....besides we have separate bathrooms..


----------



## nativewooder (Feb 14, 2013)

A urinal makes a great birthday present!!


----------



## LL Woodworks (Feb 14, 2013)

Smitty37 said:


> panamag8or said:
> 
> 
> > I found that the best way to resolve this issue is... do what she wants, and put the seat down when I'm done. This solution has served me well.
> ...



Ohhh -  that is to much information ...


----------



## traderdon55 (Feb 14, 2013)

Easy solution to problem. Just step outside and pee off the porch. Tell her that that is easier than trying to remember to put the lid down. One of two things will happen, either she will quit complaining or you better hope that rolling pin you made her is not very big and is made out of a soft wood.


----------



## sbwertz (Feb 14, 2013)

We can go in the dark.  We don't have to aim!




terryf said:


> sbwertz said:
> 
> 
> > You get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  You don't turn the light on...it might wake you up!  You grope your way to the toilet and sit down...and fall in!!!!  NOT FUN!  This is complicated by the fact that we have one of those elongated seat toilets, so when you fall in you REALLY fall in.  Cold water on the butt at 3 am is grounds for justifiable homicide.
> ...


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 14, 2013)

traderdon55 said:


> Easy solution to problem. Just step outside and pee off the porch. Tell her that that is easier than trying to remember to put the lid down. One of two things will happen, either she will quit complaining or you better hope that rolling pin you made her is not very big and is made out of a soft wood.


 Not uncommon (particularily if one of the women happened to be taking her bath, which could take an hour or more) at my house while I was growing up nor was going behind a tree uncommon when we were playing outside - which was most of the time.


----------



## carverken (Feb 14, 2013)

In my house I have a wife and two daughters.  This is one of the many arguements I get the last words on.....Yes Dear!!!

BE SAFE,   K


----------



## randyrls (Feb 14, 2013)

Smitty37 said:


> Well we guys were outnumberd 5 to 3 at our house...that went to 5 to 2 then 5 to 1 as the boys were older and left home first.  It finally got down to just me and our hound Chippy as males and he didn't use the inside bathrooms - preferred a shrub near the patio...



So do I!!!!   :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

But it beats pooping in a can on a cruise ship!


----------



## JMCU (Feb 14, 2013)

Not to hyjack the thread but.
Instead of whining and complaining about the service on the ship, they should be thanking their happy stars that they aren't having to swim back.


----------



## sbwertz (Feb 14, 2013)

JMCU said:


> Not to hyjack the thread but.
> Instead of whining and complaining about the service on the ship, they should be thanking their happy stars that they aren't having to swim back.



What is absolutely deplorable is the fact that apparently the cruise line had absolutely no contingency plan for a loss of electrical power.


----------



## Haynie (Feb 14, 2013)

sbwertz said:


> We can go in the dark.  We don't have to aim!


[/quote]

But if you turned on the light you could see that the seat was up.

I told my wife this very thing, then acted like I fell right back to sleep.:biggrin:


----------



## Haynie (Feb 14, 2013)

I just realized that the original picture was written in what looks like lipstick.  I hope Dee did not use that lip stick afterward.


----------



## ElMostro (Feb 14, 2013)

Haynie said:


> I just realized that the original picture was written in what looks like lipstick.  I hope Dee did not use that lip stick afterward.



And then kissed him


----------



## Chatham PenWorks (Feb 14, 2013)

Haynie said:


> I just realized that the original picture was written in what looks like lipstick.  I hope Dee did not use that lip stick afterward.



Roy definitely would have been in the hospital then, humming "It's a thin line...... between love and hate......":biggrin:


----------



## Smitty37 (Feb 14, 2013)

sbwertz said:


> JMCU said:
> 
> 
> > Not to hyjack the thread but.
> ...


Having spent some time on a ship at sea I can assure you there is NO contingency for loss of electrical power.  Things just don't work until you get it back and it can be a real chore even to keep the ship moving.


----------



## TellicoTurning (Feb 14, 2013)

Smitty37 said:


> sbwertz said:
> 
> 
> > JMCU said:
> ...



Hear Hear.... I was stationed on a DER out of SF that was part of the air early warning system.... once at sea on our picket station we were part of the air force, checking incoming flights and ships.... we left port one picket on the emergency generator, cannibalizing number two generator to get number one back on line.... our pickets were 30 days out, 30 days in port... we were at sea on that particular picket almost 2 weeks before the number one generator came on line.... the emergency generator could only handle about half the power needs... we ran surface search radar once every half hour, surface to air radar every 10-15 minutes... no air conditioning, only absolutely necessary communication gear was on line... most transmitters were shut down, aft radio was total closed down, lights below deck were minimum for safety only, even one of the coffee urns was shut off... a ship without electric power better have sails.


----------



## JMCU (Feb 14, 2013)

i'm sure there is reason for all the mechanical and electrical sources to be isolated at the engine area as it would be the closest and therefore most efficient and logical location, however i find it disturbing there isn't some form of emergency backup at some other location in the ship. Again i apologize for hyjacking the thread. 
PS: I put the seat and cover down afterwards most of the time and only the dog don't like it and he don't vote.
Good Night


----------



## Crashmph (Feb 14, 2013)

nativewooder said:


> A urinal makes a great birthday present!!



Ny Wife's cousin had a bathroom remolded and had a urinal put in.  Every time I went to visit, I used the master bedroom bathroom just so I could pee in the urinal.


----------

