# Craziest thing you have heard at a show!



## Milpaul

I have only been selling pens for 2 years now, but I sure have heard some crazy things (excuses) from customers! As therapy  for myself and others I thought it would be good to add them here. Today I had a man that was going to buy a cigar pen for his son as a Christmas gift. His wife interrupted us and said "He is more of a reader, he really doesn't write that much!"
 Apparently they don't teach reading writing and arithmetic anymore - you have to choose one [?][?][?]


----------



## jcollazo

From a doctor looking at my wife's Jr. Gent II.... "Where do you get wood that small?"


----------



## Randy_

This is not a poll.  You need to shut this down and move it to the Casual Conversation forum.


----------



## mrcook4570

> _Originally posted by Randy__
> 
> This is not a poll.


Agreed, however, this sure seems like an open ended survey, which does fit into the title of this forum.

That said, I once had a gentleman pick out a fountain pen and went to get his wife (she had the credit card).  When he came back with her, she proceeded to read him the riot act, telling him how irresponsible he is and dropping many 4-letter words.  Needless to say, the sale fell through.


----------



## Milpaul

I agree this is not a poll! I believe the heading says "polls, surveys and votes" and I consider this is a survey - or are you just trying to get on this list!!
If the moderator agrees he can move this post, I honestly don't know how. I was just trying to have some fun - didn't realize anyone would get upset [:0] [:0] [:0]


----------



## Ligget

Don`t you worry about it, you have done nothing wrong!


----------



## wdcav1952

Paul, the most unusual thing I have heard at a show lately has been "I'll buy that pen!"  Sigh!!!!


----------



## Milpaul

> Paul, the most unusual thing I have heard at a show lately has been "I'll buy that pen!" Sigh!!!!


I agree that is very unusual


----------



## TellicoTurning

Standard excuse I hear is:  "I can't buy an expensive pen, I always lose them."


----------



## Ron in Drums PA

"You really make these yourself?"


----------



## Pompeyite

"My great grandfather had a pen like that, did you make it for him?"
I am not that old madame said I with a wink.


----------



## Gary Max

How did you wrap the wood around the tube?????


----------



## GaryMGg

> _Originally posted by Gary Max_How did you wrap the wood around the tube?????


I've heard that from several people who've seen my pens.
I tell them "slowly and carefully or else it cracks."


----------



## Milpaul

> _Originally posted by Gary Max_
> 
> How did you wrap the wood around the tube?????


That reminds me I have had a few people ask me if I "carved" all the pens myself?  []


----------



## hazard

How do you drill that small piece of wood to put the tube in the center


----------



## ed4copies

> _Originally posted by GaryMGg_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Originally posted by Gary Max_How did you wrap the wood around the tube?????
> 
> 
> 
> I've heard that from several people who've seen my pens.
> I tell them "slowly and carefully or else it cracks."
Click to expand...


I thought MY market featured DUMB people - in over ten years I have NEVER heard this one!!!

I DO frequently hear, "You didn't make ALL THOSE???"  To which I reply, actually there are many MORE behind the display.  If you have several hours we can LOOK at them ALL!!!!  Or is there one HERE you particularly like????


----------



## Daniel

Two women looking at my pens. one is considering buying one for her son.
the Second women points out they are expensive for a pen you couldn't even write with.
(thinking that a pen made from wood could not actually function)
I demonstrate that the pen does in fact work, second woman makes comment about how pencils have always been made out of wood but still looks puzzled at my demonstration.
to this day I think that woman is trying to figure out the trick I played on her cause she never did believe a wood pen could be written with.


----------



## kent4Him

> _Originally posted by hazard_
> 
> How do you drill that small piece of wood to put the tube in the center



That's the one I get.  Once you turn the pen round, how do you get the hole exactly down the center of the pen?


----------



## RONB

I got one from a show last month."Will you be back next month because it will be closer to Christmas"?


----------



## ed4copies

Ron,
That's a perennial question.

I tell them the truth, which is usually, "NO, we are doing a different show next month.  However, if you pay by credit card, you won't have to pay for the item until NEXT month."

Seldom works - but worth a try.


----------



## Milpaul

> _Originally posted by RONB_
> 
> I got one from a show last month."Will you be back next month because it will be closer to Christmas"?


Isn't that great! Reminds me of people who look at a pen then ask what show you will be at next week. O.K. so you won't buy my pen now but you will travel again next week, maybe farther away to go to a different show where the pen might be sold, makes sense to me! [:0] [:0] [:0]


----------



## ElMostro

Comment about one of my coffee bean & Allumilite pens; 
- Customer says "So did you make coffee first and then use it to make the pen"? (Have in mind that I use whole coffee beans in the blank).  
- My answer (I was kidding); "Ma'am the hardest part was putting the beans back together".  

You would think that's the end of it right?  Wrong!! 

- Customer replies back; "I can't imagine having the patience to do that". [:0][:0][:0]


----------



## great12b4ever

One I heard was "But why would you want to make a pen when you can get plenty at Wal-Marts?"

This was at aJuried Arts and Crafts show with a $10.00 entrance fee, and my retort was
"For the same reason you just paid $10 to see what other people made by hand instead of buying plastic imitations."

Believe it or not she actually bought two pens, both cigars, but LOL both were acrylics.

Rob


----------



## rickstef

The corollary to this is, for the Bowl Turners, ever notice how many people who pick up a bowl or similar immediately flip it over to look at the bottom?


----------



## ed4copies

They do thazt with peppermills, too.

I can only guess they are looking for our signature (artist, you know)!


----------



## neon007

One of my all time favs. is "How much...I can get a bic for 99 cents." or while they are walking away you here them tell there wife  "I can make pens if I had the time"


----------



## Milpaul

> _Originally posted by neon007_
> 
> One of my all time favs. is "How much...I can get a bic for 99 cents." or while they are walking away you here them tell there wife  "I can make pens if I had the time"


Similar to one of my favorites: "Do you know ______(insert name here) he makes pens too!" Apparently there are so few of us out there we must all know each other!


----------



## Charles

One that blew me away was when I was at a christmas show and a lady picked up a pen and asked about the wood type, I told her it was olive wood from the Holy Land and that the bird of peace carried an olive branch in its mouth... Thinking the significance of the symbolism and time of year would have helped the sale... Her response.... If it has anything to do with christianity I don't want it!.... My come back... Olive wood also comes from other countries and doesn't necessarly come from the Holy Land. Guess what... SALE!!!!


----------



## scroller99

I love it when they pick up an acrylic pen in bright pink and black and ask me what kind of wood is it? and you have to keep from laughing and explain what the material is. Howard


----------



## Monty

> _Originally posted by scroller99_
> 
> I love it when they pick up an acrylic pen in bright pink and black and ask me what kind of wood is it? and you have to keep from laughing and explain what the material is. Howard


I get this too. So I tell them it's from the very rare Acrylic tree that grows only on the South Pacific island of Acrylia.

First time I told a lady that, she looked at me inquisitively then burst out laughing.


----------



## Parker

HAHAHA!  Thanks for the good laughs everyone!  This is a funny thread!  

I get the question about having the hole perfectly centered on my game calls too.  []

I also like hearing folks walk away telling their friends, "I could do that."  

Parker


----------



## great12b4ever

As far as the people that say "I could do that", I was at ashow once and a vendor had a verynice display, and in front of the area where you walked up to his show he had a fairly large sign that said  

" I know you could probably make everything I have here, and maybe even cheaper if you don't count labor,
BUT...will you?"

I have threatened to make my own sign like that ever since

Rob


----------



## ed4copies

True story:

Early in my turning career, I was at a show in Milwaukee (State Fair Park) and one of many women told me her husband could make pens, too.  I said something that apparently made her more determined, so the next day, she came back, dragging the "hubby".  He was dressed in jeans that looked new, so I was curious how this would go.

She says to him, "I told this guy (referring to me) YOU could make pens like that, too!"  The hubby said, "Yes, Dear, I believe I COULD!!!"  Then, to my surprise, he said to ME, "You use a lathe to make those, don't you?"  I said yes (I was about to become disgusted, but hadn't reached hostile, yet!)  He continued, "Nice mini-lathe is about 500 bucks??"  Intrigued, I said yes again.  He says, "Tools, ya gotta have turning tools - 100 bucks?"
He did not wait for me to answer.  "That's a nice looking pen, bet your first ones didn't look exactly like that.  What, about 10 -15 kits before you really 'got it down'?"  

I started to like the direction we were headed, so I said, actually, closer to 20, but I AM a slow-learner.  He agreed he was, too, then said, "About $8 a "kit" close to right - $150 overall?"

Now the guy develops "Einsteinism", he whips around to his wife and announces, "$500 and 100 and 150 - so, for only 750 bucks I CAN make you a pen, my dear - IF I FIND TIME!!!  Save us both the time and effort and BUY the man's PEN for THIRTY LOUSY BUCKS!!!!!"

She didn't.  But, I have told this story to MANY crafters and they all would like to thank that "Hubby".  Now, you can pass it on.  We can't tell the customers, but it does enter my mind every time I hear, "Oh, my husband can make that!!!"


----------



## wdcav1952

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!  Ed that is a great story!!


----------



## gerryr

The funniest one I got was "What brand are these pens?  Do they sell them at Office Depot too?"  

The worst one actually came from a female co-worker who came by my booth at a local show.  "What are you doing here?"  "Trying to sell these pens I make."  "You don't make those pens, pens are made in a factory."  "No, I actually do make every one on my lathe in my basement."  "I don't believe that at all."  At which point I decided I needed to go pee, before something bad happened.


----------



## GaryMGg

Gerry, I might have peed right there -- on her leg. [}]


----------



## wdcav1952

Paul,

This is the best thread that I have followed in a long time!  It allows humor, venting frustration and just all around fun!

Thanks for starting this!!!


----------



## Milpaul

Thanks Cav. I am enjoying it too only it is bringing back some very bad memories. [:0] 
I think the scariest part is I thought I heard everything, unfortunately I haven't!


----------



## OKLAHOMAN

True story. Really its true! Was at a show in Texas and a young lady walks up to my booth and I start my pitch.... Yes Mam I do make all of these in my studio and each one is one of a kind etc. etc. She then picks up a pen and looks it over and ask's me very serious, "you make these in your studio, do you also make motion pictures in your studio or is it a music studio?" I'm usually fast to reply but this time I just had to think of a reply and all I could think of was to say its a place that I make my pens only and I call it my studio.She didn't buy anything but for the rest of the day I called my shop a shop.


----------



## Milpaul

> _Originally posted by OKLAHOMAN_
> 
> True story. Really its true! Was at a show in Texas and a young lady walks up to my booth and I start my pitch.... Yes Mam I do make all of these in my studio and each one is one of a kind etc. etc. She then picks up a pen and looks it over and ask's me very serious, "you make these in your studio, do you also make motion pictures in your studio or is it a music studio?" I'm usually fast to reply but this time I just had to think of a reply and all I could think of was to say its a place that I make my pens only and I call it my studio.She didn't buy anything but for the rest of the day I called my shop a shop.


Hopefully none of your customers asked you why you call it a shop since you don't really shop there!


----------



## Texatdurango

Don't have any funny pen stories but at the last craft show I did, a young lady was standing in front of my table. picked up one of the pointed style bottle stoppers and started "writing in the air" as if to get the feel of the "pen".


----------



## gerryr

When I sold bottle stoppers, a long time ago, at the first show where I had them several people picked them up, tried to write with them and then asked "how do you get the ink out?"  At the next show, I had a empty wine bottle with a stopper in it.  Someone took the stopper out of the bottle, tried to write with it and asked "how do you get the ink out?"  I am always stunned by how stupid some people can be.


----------



## wdcav1952

> _Originally posted by gerryr_
> 
> When I sold bottle stoppers, a long time ago, at the first show where I had them several people picked them up, tried to write with them and then asked "how do you get the ink out?"  At the next show, I had a empty wine bottle with a stopper in it.  Someone took the stopper out of the bottle, tried to write with it and asked "how do you get the ink out?"  I am always stunned by how stupid some people can be.



You did a show in Texas???? [}][}]


----------



## chuck1250

I have had bottle stoppers called everything from pens to tops, to gear shift knobs to light bulbs  but the funniest question I have had is a guy came up to our table.. checked the antler pens out real hard and finally asked "Do you make the antler yourself?"    I thought this was the best one yet til the guy picked my card up read it several times then asked "Do you do meat processing too?"


----------



## RONB

At my last craft show a lady came up the the booth and said that she wanted a Cross pen.I told here that that was a brand name and that I didn't make Cross pens but I did have some Cross refills that go into the pens I make.She insisted that she wanted a cross brand pen.I then told here my name is Ron and that I make Ron's Pens.She went off in a huff! Guess I need to change my name


----------



## Chasper

We were at a show this past weekend, a Christmas themed show.  They has a Santa wandering around the show.  Outside there was a pen with a couple raindeer.  In the show a family with a couple kids in the 5-7 years age range came by and the father pointed out the deer antler pens as he told the kids that I had killed a raindeer to make pens.  The little boy started crying, and the father laughed. Ten minutes later the little boy came back to the booth and in his most disturbed and angry voice said to me, "you killed Rudolph."

I took the time to explain to the little boy that the antler was shed antler from whitetale deer and to call Santa over to assure the little boy that none of his raindeer had been killed.  Its a strange world where you are required take a hunter education class and get a license to shoot a deer, but any any idiot can father a child.


----------



## Milpaul

These stories really make me feel better. I thought I had the scariest customers, now I realize they are everywhere! [)] [)]


----------



## Hosspen

Do you catch the rattlesnakes yourself?  Where do you find corncobs that smooth?  Could I get business card?  Will you be here next week? Is that a wood veneer wrapped around there?  Do you sell knives too?  Do you have any pens for $5.00?  So, you put a bowling ball on your lathe?
How long will the ink last in these pens?  Do men usually buy these fatter pens?


----------



## wlk

LOL so hard I had to wipe tears out of my eyes! I can visualize each scenario. This would be a great "bit" for a penturner's convention. 

Wade . . . too new to do a show, but I'm building up inventory


----------



## roddesigner

I have done relatively few shows but I am reaching the conclusion that the same group of people tour the USA attending the shows because I have heard and seen almost the same thing trying to write with bottle stoppers,and perfume applicators, the same comments sometimes two or more times at one day shows I think we need to develop a good sense of humor if we want to continue in this en devour LOL
John


----------



## TellicoTurning

> _Originally posted by gerryr_
> 
> When I sold bottle stoppers, a long time ago, at the first show where I had them several people picked them up, tried to write with them and then asked "how do you get the ink out?"  At the next show, I had a empty wine bottle with a stopper in it.  Someone took the stopper out of the bottle, tried to write with it and asked "how do you get the ink out?"  I am always stunned by how stupid some people can be.


I always have an empty wine bottle on the table to demonstrate my bottle stoppers and a cantelevered wine stand.. the board cut at an angle with a hole for the bottle neck to stick through... the bottle stand catches peoples eye, then they will look at the stoppers and as "what are these for"


----------



## marionquill

Nice  I'm planning to do my first show this spring...at least now I'll be somewhat prepared for silly questions.


----------



## Freethinker

> _Originally posted by Hosspen_
> 
> Where do you find corncobs that smooth?



HAAAHAHAhahaahaaaaa!!

Now THAT is funny. I thought I'd heard it all.


----------



## jtate

As to the metal bottle stoppers -- hey, now!   Those things don't look like what they really are!  I betcha most of us didn't know they were bottle stoppers till someone told us so.


----------



## KC

This thread needs resurrection!

Not pens, but I was doing a furniture show when a very nice, proper looking older lady asked how we made the 'butt hole' in the chair seats... referring to the scooped area.  I couldn't help it... I just cracked up.


----------



## TellicoTurning

> _Originally posted by scroller99_
> 
> I love it when they pick up an acrylic pen in bright pink and black and ask me what kind of wood is it? and you have to keep from laughing and explain what the material is. Howard



Or they pick up a Dymondwood and ask "Did you paint the wood like this?"


----------



## Splinter

This thread gave me the best laugh I have had in a long time. I have only done a couple of little events with another coming up 4/12/08. Maybe I'm better prepared now for the customers after reading this thread.


----------



## Milpaul

Haven't posted in a while but had to add this to my thread. I had a show today and a guy was looking at some of my acrylic pens. He asked me if I painted them all myself or had someone else do it!  [:0][:0]


----------



## ed4copies

> _Originally posted by Milpaul_
> 
> Haven't posted in a while but had to add this to my thread. I had a show today and a guy was looking at some of my acrylic pens. He asked me if I painted them all myself or had someone else do it!  [:0][:0]



If the show was in Milwaukee, I'm amazed he did not ask you how much you would "knock off the price" if HE painted it, himself!!!

Nice to see you on the forum again!!


----------



## RONB

My sign says Handcrafted Pens by Ron.I had a lady come up to the booth a few weeks back and ask while waving her hand over all of my displays, if any of these had lead in them.Without missing a beat i said they wouldnâ€™t be pens they would be pencils wouldnâ€™t they?


----------



## rincewind03060

And all of these people can VOTE! That explains a lot.


----------



## Elliott

Well, now I really have heard it all - and I challenge YOU to beat this one. 

I just did a show last weekend - A rather good one at that - one fellow came by my booth with the usually wonderment (oh ah wood pens and such), after admiring the round top Euros he told  me they sell those with prophylactics and walked away.  Frankly I was not sure it if he was joking or not. 

I had no witty reply for this guy, just bewilderment. 



- E


----------



## gketell

Did you know you brushed your teeth with a prophylactic every day?  And every child in America has a prophylactic stuck in them several times as they grow older?

pro·phy·lac·tic  (prf-lktk, prf-)
adj.
Acting to defend against or prevent something, especially disease; protective.
n.
1. A prophylactic agent, device, or measure, such as a vaccine or drug.
2. A contraceptive device, especially a condom.

So maybe drug companies are giving away cheap "euro looking" pens with they meds.  I know I see "euro looking" pens in tourist shops for $4, laser etched with pictures of the area I'm in every time I go on a trip.  That is why I stopped making euros.

GK


----------



## Verne

Hey guys and gals, don't forget that most of these shoppers are also voters! Need I say more?
Vern


----------



## redfishsc

Ed, I am about to print out your story and give that to my customers who complain about $40 for a cigar pen (and that's cheap compared to what some of you guys price them!).



I have had probably a dozen people pick up some freakish looking acrylic and ask me "what kind of wood is this?".


I've had it asked TWICE on this blank (lava flow from Beartoothwoods):


----------



## 1JaredSchmidt

Some of them ask me "how long can I use them before I throw them away?" thinking they are disposable pens.

I have my lathe at the show turning pens and they're like" where do you get these pens from?" And I tell them I make them. "You do? What are you making right now?" (I'm turning a pen.) I tell them and they say,"Wow,I never knew you could do that."

One lady asked me if I had a lathe because she thought my lathe was a laser engraver.

One guy walked up and pointed at my Jet 1014VS and said,"that's a weird lathe." I asked him if he ever turned. He said that he taught shop class in high school and they had big lathes. He never seen a small Jet lathe before.


----------



## markgum

OKLAHOMAN said:


> True story. Really its true! Was at a show in Texas and a young lady walks up to my booth and I start my pitch.... Yes Mam I do make all of these in my studio and each one is one of a kind etc. etc. She then picks up a pen and looks it over and ask's me very serious, "you make these in your studio, do you also make motion pictures in your studio or is it a music studio?" I'm usually fast to reply but this time I just had to think of a reply and all I could think of was to say its a place that I make my pens only and I call it my studio.She didn't buy anything but for the rest of the day I called my shop a shop.


 
As JayDevin told me,,  the difference between a shop and a studio.. The studio has A/C.  :biggrin:


----------



## wicook

I agree with Cav...that's the best story I've heard in a while! Now, how can I use it...


----------

