# Lawyer!! Help!!



## ed4copies (Nov 15, 2010)

I'm putting Mach3 razor heads with the razors, when requested.

Do I have to label them:

SHARP!!​


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## snowman56 (Nov 15, 2010)

You would think people who shave would know that.


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## HSTurning (Nov 15, 2010)

If you have to ask I would say YES


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## tbroye (Nov 15, 2010)

ED

I think the wanning has to be at least 3 paragraphs long, single spaced and a size 8 font to get it all on the label.  To many loopholes in one word.  They could say he didn't say exactly how sharp it was or where it was sharp.  It also must explain the consequences of using a sharp instrument incorrectly.  You must also explain what the incorrect usages are.  You might have to get OSHA involved and get their approval.  I am not an attorney or an expert onthese things.  However I did sleep at a Holidy Inin Express this weekend.


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## Andrew Arndts (Nov 15, 2010)

*Warning:* This product should be welded by one who has confidence in the removal of human body hair. Blades are sharp and can cause skin abrasions and cuts. Extreme caution is advised.  If you do not have confidence in using this product, Do not use it. Periodically it is advisable to replace the shaving head. As the blades will dull with proper use.



hope this works for you.:rotfl::rotfl:


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## Andrew Arndts (Nov 15, 2010)

tbroye said:


> ED
> 
> I think the wanning has to be at least 3 paragraphs long, single spaced and a size 8 font to get it all on the label.  To many loopholes in one word.  They could say he didn't say exactly how sharp it was or where it was sharp.  It also must explain the consequences of using a sharp instrument incorrectly.  You must also explain what the incorrect usages are.  You might have to get OSHA involved and get their approval.  I am not an attorney or an expert onthese things.  However I did sleep at a Holidy Inin Express this weekend.



:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Beautiful....  _"However I did sleep at a Holidy Inin Express this weekend."_


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## Lenny (Nov 15, 2010)

SHARP !!! ... but...

****NOT MEANT TO BE USED AS A TURNING TOOL**** !!!!!!!!!!!


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## alphageek (Nov 15, 2010)

Doh... You would think that your customers would have bigger problems than that!   Are you talking as a vendor (of the kits) or as a seller of the completed razors (which I know you will probably be both!

For the kits - I would really hope not... For the finished products I would recommend it just in case!


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## BRobbins629 (Nov 15, 2010)

Only if someone cuts themselves.  I've been a witness in a few product liability cases.  Warnings of hazards, regardless of how obvious they may seem to you, are very helpful in these situations.  Other choice is put all the money in Dawn's name.


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## ed4copies (Nov 15, 2010)

How about my defense:  I bought the heads with DAWN'S credit card!!!

"Razors, what razors, your honor???"

"Did you purchase these razor heads, Mr. Brown"

(Best Clintonesque voice: "Well, just exactly WHAT do you MEAN by "purchase"???")


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## YouthMinisterDan (Nov 15, 2010)

ed4copies said:


> How about my defense:  I bought the heads with DAWN'S credit card!!!
> 
> "Razors, what razors, your honor???"
> 
> ...



ED...Don't throw Dawn under the bus...lol! I like all those freebies.


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## mredburn (Nov 15, 2010)

Someone once said the world has gone to hell when you can no longer include instructions on how to use product , but instead you have to list all the ways your not supposed to.
 I would include in your warning
-do not shave while swimming with sharks.
-do not preheat with an Iron.
-do not install more than one cartridge at a time.
-not intended for preparing food.
-not intended for purposes other than intended. 
(thats legalese double speak) oh yes somewhere it must say instructions printed in china.
I hope this helps but IF you get sued I've never heard of you......:biggrin:


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## ed4copies (Nov 15, 2010)

The prosecutor has a receipt, signed by Ed Brown.

"What in the world would make you think that I am THAT Ed Brown, your honor!!!"


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## DurocShark (Nov 15, 2010)

Lenny said:


> SHARP !!! ... but...
> 
> ****NOT MEANT TO BE USED AS A TURNING TOOL**** !!!!!!!!!!!


Crap. Now I'm gonna have to try it. :tongue:


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## Andrew Arndts (Nov 16, 2010)

DurocShark said:


> Lenny said:
> 
> 
> > SHARP !!! ... but...
> ...



Good luck with that, let us know how it turns out.  (no pun intended)


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## Smitty37 (Nov 16, 2010)

*Install at your own risk.*

Is the Mach 3 one of the ones with 4 blades or does it only have 3.  I think I have one but I'm not sure which one it is.  I must have half-a-dozen razors.

Maybe you should include a video showing how to use the razor properly while shaving (including special instructions for those who shave both up and down) faces, legs, chests, arms, backs and other portions of the anatomy that are (unlike my head) blessed with hair.  I would use a body builder for most of the "off" places.  I will offer to let you use my head for illustrating the proper approach to shaving a bald head.


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## alphageek (Nov 16, 2010)

Smitty37 said:


> Is the Mach 3 one of the ones with 4 blades or does it only have 3.  I think I have one but I'm not sure which one it is.  I must have half-a-dozen razors.



I think there may be a 4 blade similar version, but I use a mach3 and it has only 3 blades.  I havn't done one of these kits yet, but they are on my short list.


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## workinforwood (Nov 16, 2010)

It's all a funny entertaining read, no question about that.  I am no lawyer, but my answer is going to be no warning necessary.

As your defense attorney, I will be showing up in court with several dozen of the most popular brands of razors sold in the mass razor industry. I will be asking to prosecutor to show me the warning label on any of these razors, because I have box loads of razors and I sure can't find a warning anywhere on the razors or the packages. The word razor is basically defined as sharp. If it was not sharp, it would be a useless blunting tool.  Now I must ask this case be dismissed so that we can discuss my countersuit against the state education system for producing a person that does not understand a razor can cut you.


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## randyrls (Nov 16, 2010)

mredburn said:


> -not intended for purposes other than intended.
> (thats legalese double speak)



That is fantastic!!!!    Can I use that in my Tagline??????


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## Glenn McCullough (Nov 16, 2010)

Why dont you just include the words, " DO NOT USE INCLUDED RAZOR HEAD". if they do...and they all will...well...you warned them.


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

Glenn McCullough said:


> Why dont you just include the words, " DO NOT USE INCLUDED RAZOR HEAD". if they do...and they all will...well...you warned them.




Now, THAT'S a warning!!!!

"Your honor, quite obviously the injured party did NOT heed our warning!!!"


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

Or, like software: "Opening this package voids all warranties and you are completely responsible for any dire consequences---DO NOT open the package!!"


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## randywa (Nov 16, 2010)

Any use of this product violates all written and implied statements of warranty. All legal recourse must be initiated the legal court of my chosing in front of judge and jury of my chosing. Oh yeah, I get to pick your lawyer too.


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## Smitty37 (Nov 16, 2010)

*Bandaid*

You might include a bandaid with instructions on how to use it in case of emergency and prolonged bleeding .

You can laugh now but have you tried getting one of those suckers open lately???  I could bleed to death before I figure out where to pull...oh for the good old days when they had a little string attached and all you did was pull it to open...


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

Smitty37 said:


> You might include a bandaid with instructions on how to use it in case of emergency and prolonged bleeding .
> 
> You can laugh now but have you tried getting one of those suckers open lately???  I could bleed to death before I figure out where to pull...oh for the good old days when they had a little string attached and all you did was pull it to open...



So, you hate children!!!!
Endorsing the use of a choking hazard!!!!


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## gawdelpus (Nov 16, 2010)

DurocShark said:


> Lenny said:
> 
> 
> > SHARP !!! ... but...
> ...



Let me know if you need a bit of "Hairy Oak " to try it on  lol. I just made a Pepper grinder out of this stuff ,got a few offcuts that can test as many blades as you can get your hands on hehe.cheers 

Re the "face scraper "   Have a look at what the manufactures state on their packaging re warnings , But to me any warning can be construed as an admission of implicit danger and hard to fight , Like putting a sign on the gate about dogs , can be construed as having a dangerous dog   death by "Licking " if you come through my gate lol. Sometimes this "political correctness " and over protectiveness is just too absurd .


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## jkeithrussell (Nov 16, 2010)

Ed, 
My favorite case study from law school was about a toddler who was "riding" around his living room -- naked -- on a canister-style vacuum cleaner. It was turned on, and his little feller got caught in the seam between the two sections of the vacuum cleaner and was very nearly torn off. His family sued, of course, because there was no warning label about the hazards of children using the vacuum as a play toy. The case was from California and, as you can probably guess, the family won. Next time you get your little feller pinched while riding around the house on your vacuum cleaner, don't forget to sue!


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

Hey Keith,

Thanks for that!!!

At my advanced age, I forget many things.  However, so far I still remember to zip up before "switching on" anything mechanical.  But the days of running around the house in my birthday suit are yet to come, I guess!!


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## GoodTurns (Nov 16, 2010)

ed4copies said:


> Hey Keith,
> 
> Thanks for that!!!
> 
> At my advanced age, I forget many things.  However, so far I still remember to zip up before "switching on" anything mechanical.  But the days of running around the house in my birthday suit are yet to come, I guess!!



you will be required to post a warning sign at each Wisconsin border crossing when that day does get here!


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## jasonbowman (Nov 16, 2010)

Could be worse...
In San Francisco in 1964, a woman named Gloria Sykes was injured after  the cable car she was riding on malfunctioned and careened down a hill.  Sykes suffered a black eye and some scratches in the accident, but she  filed a $500,000 lawsuit against the city for a much more curious  reason: she claimed the accident had triggered a “demonic sex urge” in  her. Sykes said the trauma from the accident had led to her developing  an uncontrollable nymphomania, and that after it happened she’d had sex  with over 100 men, as many as 50 in one week. The case made headlines in  the Bay Area when it went to court, and many called it one of the most  egregious abuses of the legal system in history. But after Sykes’  attorneys successfully argued that she had developed a bizarre form of  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she was eventually awarded $50,000 in  damages.  

Might need a warning:  Danger! Use (or misuse) might give you (or your loved one(s)) a "demonic sex urge"...


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## tbroye (Nov 16, 2010)

Ed.

I will send Gloria Allred to defend you.


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

tbroye said:


> Ed.
> 
> I will send Gloria Allred to defend you.




Thank you, not that desperate!


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## Grim Spirit (Nov 16, 2010)

True Story:

I once worked for a large textile plant.  As a 'Safety Award', every month without a lost time accident we got a nice glass etched with an animal.  After six months, a pitcher to go with it.

After a full year with no lost time accidents, they gave us a very nice set of steak knives.

Yup, someone cut themselves.  3 days after the gift, we recieved a "Warning: The Steak Knives we gave you are SHARP.  Please use caution when using."

Quite frankly, I worked with a lot of people that were one beer away from a Darwin Award. (Kinda liked the time the guy took the angle grinder, hit the switch, noticed it didn't work, noticed that the plug had separated from the extension chord, placed said angle grinder between his legs to hold while he bent down to pick up the chord in one hand, the plug in the other, and commenced to plug it in.)


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## ed4copies (Nov 16, 2010)

The rest of the story:  Plugged it in, it started up, between his legs----very uncomfortable, so he DROPPED the plug---had he instead UNPLUGGED the plug....................


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## ThomJ (Nov 16, 2010)

cromagnon vasectomyh


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## phillywood (Nov 16, 2010)

Ed, you have to mention that not intended for Cutting (as in cutting heroin,weed,....) other wise you end up in the states that legalized marijuana and then we got a problem.:biggrin: :bulgy-eyes:


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## Smitty37 (Nov 16, 2010)

*You too*



ed4copies said:


> Smitty37 said:
> 
> 
> > You might include a bandaid with instructions on how to use it in case of emergency and prolonged bleeding .
> ...


 If you had as many kids as I do you'd hate children too.:biggrin:


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## Smitty37 (Nov 16, 2010)

*And in the mean time*



jasonbowman said:


> Could be worse...
> In San Francisco in 1964, a woman named Gloria Sykes was injured after the cable car she was riding on malfunctioned and careened down a hill. Sykes suffered a black eye and some scratches in the accident, but she filed a $500,000 lawsuit against the city for a much more curious reason: she claimed the accident had triggered a “demonic sex urge” in her. Sykes said the trauma from the accident had led to her developing an uncontrollable nymphomania, and that after it happened she’d had sex with over 100 men, as many as 50 in one week. The case made headlines in the Bay Area when it went to court, and many called it one of the most egregious abuses of the legal system in history. But after Sykes’ attorneys successfully argued that she had developed a bizarre form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she was eventually awarded $50,000 in damages.
> 
> Might need a warning: Danger! Use (or misuse) might give you (or your loved one(s)) a "demonic sex urge"...


 
And in the mean time, people who really get hurt get nothing....My son was manager of a motel...employee found a gun left in a room...took the gun to the office, my son called the police. Police came to get the gun and the officer was playing with it...shot my son in the leg. My son got nothing...nada. The judge allowed that his employee insurance had covered his medical expences and he was not entitled to anything for pain and suffering.

The policeman though suffered something tramatic and got 4 months off and $50,000 awarded for what "he went through" and was able to take a disability (mental) retirement.


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## Jgrden (Nov 16, 2010)

Smitty37 said:


> jasonbowman said:
> 
> 
> > Could be worse...
> ...



Sheesh.


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