# Female Communication?



## Cwalker935 (Feb 11, 2018)

So my wife, Lida, walked up and stood in front of me wearing a white robe over her clothes and we had the following conversation:

Lida- What do you think of this robe?
Me-  (sensing a trap) it’s very nice.
Lida- Does it look like an old lady’s robe?
Me- (throwing caution to the wind) all robes look like old ladies’ robes
Lida- should I hem it?
Me- why bother it’s not dragging the floor, where would you be wearing it other than around the house?
Lida- I would never wear it, I am going to get rid of it (walks away)
Me-  What the ****?

She doesn’t seem mad and isn’t throwing things.  I will remain on high alert for a few days in any event.  Best case, she is looking for an excuse to buy a new robe.


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## Ambidex (Feb 11, 2018)

The title alone is a double negative.


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## More4dan (Feb 11, 2018)

Valentine’s Day is this week, dude you just blew it. Maybe even for next year. Good luck with that. 

My wife has been literally pressuring me to get equipment for casting blanks completely unsolicited from me. If your scared say you’re scared. I’m scared!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Penturners.org mobile app


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## Dehn0045 (Feb 11, 2018)

I am tested regularly.  It’s the whole “I don’t want you to DO the dishes, I want you to WANT to do the dishes” type thing


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## More4dan (Feb 11, 2018)

Dehn0045 said:


> I am tested regularly.  It’s the whole “I don’t want you to DO the dishes, I want you to WANT to do the dishes” type thing





Who in their right minds WANTS to do the dishes?!?!  She wants to see if you’ll lie to her and if she can tell when you are. That’s my guess. Sneaky one there. 


Sent from my iPhone using Penturners.org mobile app


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## tomtedesco (Feb 11, 2018)

Just in case my wife ever sees this, I will say NOTHING.


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## mark james (Feb 11, 2018)

I have no sage advice; but I do have a spare bedroom!


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## Dehn0045 (Feb 11, 2018)

tomtedesco said:


> Just in case my wife ever sees this, I will say NOTHING.



By saying "nothing" you have said so much!  Best of luck if she reads the thread...


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## Gary Beasley (Feb 11, 2018)

More4dan said:


> Valentine’s Day is this week, dude you just blew it. Maybe even for next year. Good luck with that.
> 
> My wife has been literally pressuring me to get equipment for casting blanks completely unsolicited from me. If your scared say you’re scared. I’m scared!!!
> 
> ...



Sounds to me like she wants you to make some pretty blanks just for her. Any chance she would have fun casting blanks? She might turn out to be a good partner in crime penturning!


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## More4dan (Feb 11, 2018)

Gary Beasley said:


> More4dan said:
> 
> 
> > Valentine’s Day is this week, dude you just blew it. Maybe even for next year. Good luck with that.
> ...





I made her a Minnie Mouse watch part pen which she loved but wasn’t so enamored with cost. Wants me to start making them I believe so she and her friends can have access to many more. Doubtful she will want any part in the fabrication of the blanks nor pens. I also don’t encourage it, I do enjoy my brief alone time in the shop. 


Sent from my iPad using Penturners.org mobile app


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## magpens (Feb 11, 2018)

Gosh !!! ..... do all guys have these problems ????


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## stonepecker (Feb 11, 2018)

magpens said:


> Gosh !!! ..... do all guys have these problems ????




_YES!   If you are male and have any connection with a female, you will have this happen to you.   Even your mother will do this.

My mother got me two sweaters.  One red and one green.  I decided to ware the green one to visit her.  The minute she seen it she said "What?!?!?.......You don't like the red one?".

the male that can explain the female (to the rest of us) could make a fortune.  
_


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## WigWag Workshop (Feb 11, 2018)

Hmmmm... I believe there is a commercial that comes on around this time every year.  Advertising a warm and cozy robe for her, paired with an order of Sherri's Berries. Funny you should post this, has me lady asked me a similar question the other day.


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## MTViper (Feb 11, 2018)

There's an age old question that comes to mind here ... "if a man says something in a forest and there's no woman around to hear, is he still wrong?"


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## jcm71 (Feb 12, 2018)

Just keep in mind that behind every angry woman is a man wondering what he did wrong.


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## hcpens (Feb 12, 2018)

The day will come when man understands the whole woman thing, but after 44 years and two daughters, I gave up on an understanding within my lifespan.


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## MDWine (Feb 12, 2018)

Wait a minute...  your wife TALKS to you?  Really?


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## sbwertz (Feb 12, 2018)

Best valentine's day present my husband ever got me was a new Steel City drill press with a 6 inch quill travel!  Who needs robes!


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## thewishman (Feb 12, 2018)

You may and/or may not have passed a test. Congratulations and/or condolences.


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## eharri446 (Feb 12, 2018)

MTViper, I have been married to same lovely lady for 43 years, and you do not even have to be in the same state or country to be wrong. 

The first rule of being married is: "No matter what happened; it is YOUR fault".


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## JohnU (Feb 12, 2018)

It was a "no win" situation from the start.   I've found it best to answer questions with the least amount of words or none at all and then pretend to choke or run to the bathroom....   "does this make me look fat?" - nope (then run),  "do you love me?" yep (its always followed up with -"how much?" then compared to something said years ago, and not in a good way.  Never mention anything that has to do with her eating like, "are you going to eat that?" or "do you want more" which apparently translates to calling her fat.  And never ever refer to that rare or highly figured piece of wood as being pretty or beautiful. I'm still paying for that one.  Good Luck!


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## Kenny Durrant (Feb 12, 2018)

Sharon you'd better tell your husband he needs to take special care of you. After a comment like that I can see guys lining up now to take his place. I've been married to the same woman for over 40 years and I wouldn't trade for anything. I not only heard these comments from my wife but All the other women from Mom to in laws and even buddies wives. Although getting back to my original comment I've never heard them say anything like Sharon said. I'm also told that "That's" what keeps life interesting. My wife say's that so I'll just leave it at that.


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## McKenzie Penworks (Feb 12, 2018)

I had to chuckle a bit at this thread... I'm a (relative to you old farts) fairly young(ish) fella in my 30's (for 3 more years anyways) and with 2 young kids. My wife and I are naturally frazzled which comes with having a 4 year old and a teething 10 month old. We've been married 10 years now and I have spent a few well earned evenings on the couch.

Well this past weekend was a fun stress filled weekend of family engagements that included the baptism of our baby girl, my mother, her mother, and well that's enough for anyone right? I'd left my computer open where I had just received an email from an IAP member that will remain nameless (name rhymes with Craig Shardy) where he was making a joke about my wife not being appreciative of having me rather than being stuck with a grouchy old dinosaur such as himself.

As you can imagine the keywords she saw were: Wife, Ungrateful, Unappreciative.

My son came and got me because he was worried about mommy crying in the shower. THAT one was fun.


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## D.Oliver (Feb 12, 2018)

mckenziedrums said:


> I had to chuckle a bit at this thread... I'm a (relative to you old farts) fairly young(ish) fella in my 30's (for 3 more years anyways) and with 2 young kids. My wife and I are naturally frazzled which comes with having a 4 year old and a teething 10 month old. We've been married 10 years now and I have spent a few well earned evenings on the couch.
> 
> Well this past weekend was a fun stress filled weekend of family engagements that included the baptism of our baby girl, my mother, her mother, and well that's enough for anyone right? I'd left my computer open where I had just received an email from an IAP member that will remain nameless (name rhymes with Craig Shardy) where he was making a joke about my wife not being appreciative of having me rather than being stuck with a grouchy old dinosaur such as himself.
> 
> ...


 

Let's hope your wife never crosses path with a man whose name rhymes with Craig Shardy!


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## Rounder (Feb 12, 2018)

My wife said to me the other day, "You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" I was thinking - What a strange way to start a conversation?!?!?!


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## Gary Beasley (Feb 12, 2018)

sbwertz said:


> Best valentine's day present my husband ever got me was a new Steel City drill press with a 6 inch quill travel!  Who needs robes!



Cool! I have one, great machine!


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## Oldfolks (Feb 13, 2018)

I've been married 46+ years. Just say"Yes Dear" smile and go on about your business.


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## leehljp (Feb 13, 2018)

• I heard a great message once that dealt with marriage. The speaker, a seminary president spoke on marriage. One thing he said in the message stood out prominently: "_Men, keeping your wife happy is a moving target! What works today (that you were not expecting) does not work tomorrow!_"

• 





> _I am tested regularly. It’s the whole “I don’t want you to DO the dishes, I want you to WANT to do the dishes” type thing._ (Dehn0045)


 My wife's best friend (when we were in overseas) was talking to LOML in my presence some years ago and said those exact words!  I shook my head in disbelief, and was so happy that LOML has let me be me. 

• I am a studier of personality types. I have the absolutely worst personality type for marriage - in the Myers Briggs, I am an INTP - the logician, strategist, little or no feelings of expression. But my logic has taught me that getting along requires some humble attitudes even when you don't know what you are being humble about! That is the best way to achieve the means to an end even when you don't know what the end IS. :biggrin: :biggrin:


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## kruzzer (Feb 13, 2018)

Be afraid....very afraid


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## MPVic (Feb 13, 2018)

More4dan said:


> Gary Beasley said:
> 
> 
> > More4dan said:
> ...



I've learned some painful lessons while being married to the same gal for over 47 years - never, EVER discuss the finances surrounding your hobby!!  YES, IGNORANCE IS BLISS!!


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## Dehn0045 (Feb 13, 2018)

Dehn0045 said:


> I am tested regularly.  It’s the whole “I don’t want you to DO the dishes, I want you to WANT to do the dishes” type thing



The subtle joke in my post is that I watch way to many chick flicks (wife loves them)...  In case you haven't watched it -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKKyxmf_BR8


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## Joe S. (Feb 13, 2018)

Hahaha, I don't have these problems!

*cries alone in a corner


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## Brian G (Feb 13, 2018)

A robe by any other name would smell as sweat.


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## WriteON (Feb 14, 2018)

Read their mind. Read it.


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## leehljp (Feb 14, 2018)

*Th Difference between Men and Woman, Dave Barry*

There are a couple of slightly different versions of Dave Barry's column "The difference between Men and Women. 

Here is a link to one:
(Warning: It is kinda long; one missed paragraph and the meaning is missed.)

The Difference Between Men and Women - Office of Planning & Analysis | Montana State University

I first read the article back when I lived in Tokyo, a long time ago. Still funny!


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## Rounder (Feb 14, 2018)

leehljp said:


> There are a couple of slightly different versions of Dave Barry's column "The difference between Men and Women.
> 
> Here is a link to one:
> (Warning: It is kinda long; one missed paragraph and the meaning is missed.)
> ...


 

Now that's laugh out loud FUNNY!!!


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## Bill Sampson (Feb 14, 2018)

Cody,

I got the feeling that your wife was trying to find out if you remembered buying the robe for her. If you did, you obviously didn't remember; therefore she is going to get rid of a gift she didn't particularly like.
Just a thought.

Bill


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## mark james (Feb 14, 2018)

Cody, this has been a well-visited thread (I won't go out on a limb to say ...Popular).  I guess you hit a soft spot!  Or at least a well-respected topic!  

Best Regards!


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## MiteyF (Feb 14, 2018)

I just stumbled upon this. My wife just got home, and I asked her to go put on lingerie and do the dishes so I could cook her dinner. She said "OK" and is changing now. I never could understand why guys have some of these problems.


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## magpens (Feb 14, 2018)

MiteyF said:


> I just stumbled upon this. My wife just got home, and I asked her to go put on lingerie and do the dishes so I could cook her dinner. She said "OK" and is changing now. I never could understand why guys have some of these problems.




YEAH, RIGHT !


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## Kenny Durrant (Feb 14, 2018)

OK after MiteyF's post I'm confused. I was thinking we were being honest and leaning on each other for support and ideas. Now are we supposed to see who can come up with the best lie and act like we have the wisdom to stay on top?


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## Cwalker935 (Feb 14, 2018)

I think that MiteyF should share his knowledge somehow.  Maybe write a how to manual or develop a decoder ring or something.


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## Cwalker935 (Feb 15, 2018)

Well it looks like the majority of us males have some difficulty in deciphering what our ladies are really saying.  I am happy to report that all has been well with Lida since my original post and that I survived Valentine’s Day without buying a robe.  Even though she drives me crazy at times I could not live without the LOML.


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## MiteyF (Feb 15, 2018)

magpens said:


> MiteyF said:
> 
> 
> > I just stumbled upon this. My wife just got home, and I asked her to go put on lingerie and do the dishes so I could cook her dinner. She said "OK" and is changing now. I never could understand why guys have some of these problems.
> ...



I'd have posted a picture, but I don't think she'd like that much :biggrin:


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## Gregory Hardy (Feb 15, 2018)

None of my business, brother, but you'd better think back through the ol' memory bank and make sure you didn't buy the robe for her in the first place on some Christmas or anniversary past.  You might be in more trouble than you realize!


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## MTViper (Feb 15, 2018)

My wife was older than most when we got married.  She was also more practical.  I asked what she wanted for our first anniversary and she said "A Kitchenaide Mixer".  So that's what I got her.  She's still using it 30 years later and thanking me for it every time.  Then she tells the story to her friends and they say "oh you poor dear" and give me "the look".  Funny, huh?


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## MiteyF (Feb 16, 2018)

MTViper said:


> My wife was older than most when we got married.  She was also more practical.  I asked what she wanted for our first anniversary and she said "A Kitchenaide Mixer".  So that's what I got her.  She's still using it 30 years later and thanking me for it every time.  Then she tells the story to her friends and they say "oh you poor dear" and give me "the look".  Funny, huh?



That's funny, my fiance's bday is this Monday, so last weekend we went out and got her what she's been dying to have for I-couldn't-tell-you-how-long... a Kitchenaid mixer. And yes, she loves it.


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## MiteyF (Feb 16, 2018)

Cwalker935 said:


> I think that MiteyF should share his knowledge somehow.  Maybe write a how to manual or develop a decoder ring or something.



Missed this before. You guys wanna know the secret(s)? Here it is.

1 - find the right woman.
2 - treat her like she's the best thing that's ever happened to you, but
3 - call her out on her ****. 
4 - cook for her (no woman on the face of the earth can resist a man who can cook).
5 -  Never ever lie. If she tries to trap you with something like, "is she prettier than me?" you say "she's got better ****, but I wouldn't say 'prettier' ". If she doesn't like your answer, tough. She asked.

Love them, treat them right, but make sure they know you won't put up with bullshit, and neither should they put up with yours. If she asks you to do something, you do it. If she's worth keeping, she'll do the same for you.


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## Rounder (Feb 17, 2018)

One thing I told my wife many years ago was "No making rules that don't apply to us both". She didn't like that at first but I told her fair was fair. IF you want to make a rule, you better be willing to abide by it also. Sure limited the rule making.


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## FrankH (Feb 17, 2018)

My wife got on board with my pen making when I made her a seam ripper.  Then I made about 30 more for her to give away.  I didn't realize she had so many quilting buddies.


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## tbroye (Feb 17, 2018)

Female and Communication are two words that should never be used together.  I know from almost 52 years of experience.  Yes Mam/dear/sweetheart/honey, is the correct answer to any communication brought by a female.  I have been caught in that delemina a few time over the years and have never won.


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## sbwertz (Feb 23, 2018)

My husband is also a woodworker, though not a turner.  We share a VERY crowded shop.  (I agree not to turn when he is varnishing!)  He made me a beautiful set of kitchen cabinets a few years ago. (See them in my photo album.) His health has limited the work he can do in the shop now (spinal stenosis) but he loves to help me make blanks for the blind center.  I cut them on the band saw, and he drills them on the drill press, sitting on a stool.  Pepper mill blanks, pen blanks, stopper blanks, etc.  Then he sits on a little roll around stool and takes the shop vac and cleans up the debris. We make a great team.


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## Gregory Hardy (Feb 23, 2018)

mckenziedrums said:


> I had to chuckle a bit at this thread... I'm a (relative to you old farts) fairly young(ish) fella in my 30's (for 3 more years anyways) and with 2 young kids. My wife and I are naturally frazzled which comes with having a 4 year old and a teething 10 month old. We've been married 10 years now and I have spent a few well earned evenings on the couch.
> 
> Well this past weekend was a fun stress filled weekend of family engagements that included the baptism of our baby girl, my mother, her mother, and well that's enough for anyone right? I'd left my computer open where I had just received an email from an IAP member that will remain nameless (name rhymes with Craig Shardy) where he was making a joke about my wife not being appreciative of having me rather than being stuck with a grouchy old dinosaur such as himself.
> 
> ...



She is luckier having you than me...but I'm not sure that makes her lucky on the grand scale.
Regards-
Craig Shardy
(Greg Hardy)


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