# Hilarious Bumper Stickers



## DocStram (Jul 21, 2007)

The other day I pulled up behind a Honda Odyssey with a bunch of children inside.  Things looked pretty "active" in that van.  Then I noticed the bumper sticker:

_"Who are all of these kids? And, why do they keep calling me Mom??" _


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## guts (Jul 21, 2007)

Al,I think the best one I've seen is (I wonder if you could drive better if you had that cell phone stuck up your a**).


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## bgray (Jul 21, 2007)

Probably the funniest bumper sticker that I ever saw...

There was this car that was an absolute piece of sh*t.  Something real old, and real beat up.  Lots of marijuana and Grateful Dead stickers on the car.  The driver was a young guy, definitely a hippy, with his dreads and hemp clothes....

The bumber sticker said...

"Don't laugh, Buddy....Your daughter could be in here."


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## thewishman (Jul 21, 2007)

I saw one last month:

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. 
You killed my father. Prepare to die.


I had to go home and watch The Princess Bride again.

Chris


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## neon007 (Jul 23, 2007)

I have the best sticker ive seen on my tool box at work and my bumper. It says "My dog is smarter than your honor student" Also a good one I saw was HANG UP AND DRIVE. And the #1 bumper sticker in the U.S. is......Welcome to America, Now speak english.


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## txbatons (Jul 23, 2007)

My fave...."Mean people suck!"


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## wdcav1952 (Jul 23, 2007)

I want one that has "I "heart" my mutt."


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## ed4copies (Jul 23, 2007)

> _Originally posted by wdcav1952_
> <br />I want one that has "I "heart" my mutt."



You just keep looking for a chance to "camp out" if Nancy sees these threads!!![:0][:0][:0][:0]


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## mick (Jul 23, 2007)

Funniest one I've seen lately was a couple of years ago during college football season. Here in Alabama we have a pretty intense state rivalry Between University of Alabama and Auburn University. Anyway this particular year the Auburn defense sacked the Alabama quarterback(Brodie Croyle) 11 times. The day wasn't even over before I saw bumper sticker plastered all over cars<b>..."Honk if you sacked Brodie Croyle"</b>


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## cigarman (Jul 23, 2007)

I like...If I wanted to hear what is coming out of your stereo
          I would be in your car


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## tipusnr (Jul 23, 2007)

I only carry two small ones on the flap to my topper.

"If I have to explain it you wouldn't understand."
"I just remembered...I'm absent minded!"

I find it best to laugh at myself!! (Though I have always wanted to get one that read "Help! I'm being tailgated by an a**hole!")


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## Rojo22 (Jul 23, 2007)

The classic here in town is  "Driver only carries $50 in ammunition..."...
or "Keep honking, I'm reloading...."


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## pastorbill1952 (Jul 23, 2007)

Proud parent of an honor roll student
to which we rednecks reply - my child beat up your honor roll student []


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## alamocdc (Jul 23, 2007)

> _Originally posted by ed4copies_
> <br />
> 
> 
> ...



DOH!!! That's twice now, Ed! Another good one! Cav, are you starting to feel picked on?[}][]


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## GregMuller (Jul 23, 2007)

Saw one today that said 
"I'm grumpy because you're stupid"


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## penhead (Jul 23, 2007)

One of my favorites:

"No trespassing"
Survivors will be prosecuted


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## Ligget (Jul 24, 2007)

A notice attatched to a gate at a back garden of a house.

"My dog can reach this gate in 4 seconds, can you"?


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## Snazzypens (Jul 24, 2007)

My dad is after the bumper sticker that says

"getting old is manditory but growing up is optional"


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## alamocdc (Jul 24, 2007)

One of my faves is this one:

"Some village MAY have lost its idiot, but most can't get rid of theirs."


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## Radman (Jul 24, 2007)

"My wife's other car is a broom"
[8D]


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## kent4Him (Jul 24, 2007)

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"


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## pastorbill1952 (Jul 24, 2007)

Body of my EX is in the trunk.  [:0][B)]


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## Jerryconn (Jul 24, 2007)

> _Originally posted by kent4Him_
> <br />"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"



Along this same line, I saw one that said:
"There is a place for all God's creatures ........... right beside the mashed potatoes and gravy." []


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## txbatons (Jul 24, 2007)

> _Originally posted by Jerryconn_
> <br />
> 
> 
> ...



Not a bumpersticker, but a shirt worn by one of my students...

"I didn't scratch and claw my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!"


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## Rojo22 (Jul 27, 2007)

> _Originally posted by penhead_
> <br />One of my favorites:
> 
> "No trespassing"
> Survivors will be prosecuted



I have seen a bumper sticker in the window at some  of the old junkyards in South Georgia, 

"Trespassers will be shot.....Survivors will be shot again"


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## ctwxlvr (Jul 27, 2007)

Beam me up Scotty there is no intelligent life here!


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## Texatdurango (Jul 27, 2007)

<br />


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## Ryan (Jul 27, 2007)

One of my favorites was on a Police car that said

"Smile I could be behind you!"


Ryan


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## ahoiberg (Jul 27, 2007)

"God, please save me from your followers."


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## lwalden (Jul 27, 2007)

And then there is this one......
"Red meat isn't bad for you- fuzzy blue-green meat is bad for you"


> _Originally posted by txbatons_
> <br />
> 
> 
> ...


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## RonRaymond (Jul 27, 2007)

Not a bumper sticker, but a sign in my vet's office...

Unattended children will be given a double shot of espresso and a free puppy.


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## hughbie (Jul 27, 2007)

ok ok ok....i can't let this go without my input....

1. My Karma ran over your Dogma

2. Kinky is using a Feather
   Perverted is using the whole Chicken


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## Monty (Jul 27, 2007)

How about
Visualize whirled peas.


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## BAM (Aug 2, 2007)

"If they call it tourist season...Why can`t we shoot them"


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## wudnhed (Aug 2, 2007)

If at first you don't succeed
deny you were trying at all!

I live in my own little world
but it's OK
they know me there!

I used to have a handle on life
but it broke off!

Our family tree is full of nuts!


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## LostintheWoods (Aug 2, 2007)

This one is geographically limited:
  "Don't tell my mom I work in the oilfields--she thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse.


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## RonRaymond (Aug 3, 2007)

"I'm confused.  No wait...maybe not."


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## beamer (Aug 3, 2007)

I'd like one for the times i'm stuck in traffic:

"I'd rather be sanding."


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## CSue (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm a bit late to this . . . I just want Mark to know, that sign on the garden gate?  here in the USA, it's on my fence.  But our dog is slower,

"My dog can reach this gate in [^], can you?"


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## Woodlvr (Aug 7, 2007)

Sue,  That would make me think more about it without the time listed-Good one.[]

Mike


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## babyblues (Aug 10, 2007)

"I love cats....they taste just like chicken."

"HUMANKIND....Be Both."

"Run, Jesse, Run!"  From when Jesse Jackson ran for president.  It was on someone's front bumper.  []

My personal favorite:
"So many pedestrians, so little time."


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## underdog (Aug 12, 2007)

> _Originally posted by BAM_
> <br />"If they call it tourist season...Why can`t we shoot them"



Not quite a bumper sticker, but in the same vein...

An Australian lady climbed over the fence around Binky the Polar Bear's pen. Obviously the bear figured this was a free meal, and mauled her, but fortunately the silly woman managed to get away. When the commotion was over, a photographer shot a picture of her tennis shoe hanging from the bear's mouth.

That photo graced a lot of T-shirt's that read:

<b>Send more tourists - this one got away</b>


True story, I'm not making this up.
http://gdl.msu.edu/%7Evanhoose/humor/0155.html

Binky - Wikipedia


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