# My dad is at the end with a turn for the worse.



## MesquiteMan (Jun 11, 2011)

Sorry to bother you all again, especially with the bad news after my recent good news post.  It was premature, unfortunately.  Last night, my dad had a really bad night at home and had a number of seizures.  This morning, my mom called and said that he was pretty much unresponsive and unable to stand or even sit up so she called in hospice.

I went over there and his is not doing well at all.  He is pretty much unresponsive and just stares ahead with a very hollow look.  He can move his arms around and occasionally will try to talk but not very much.  He is also incontinent and his oxygen levels are 88% even with oxygen.  His fever is back at 101 and the hospice nurse said his lungs sounded pretty bad.  The hospice nurse (who I think absolutely sucks with no compassion but that is a different topic) volunteered without us asking that it will only be 2 or 3 days.

Obviously, he is at the end of his life and we are NOT taking him back to the hospital since there is nothing that they can do for him.  I would ask for your thoughts and prayers this time that his passing can be quick and peaceful so he can end his suffering.

I will most likely not be on the forum much for the next few days so please don't think I am ignoring anyone if I am unable to reply to PMs, especially moderator related PMs.


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## GoodTurns (Jun 11, 2011)

thoughts and prayers for you and your family, my friend.


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## kenlicciardello (Jun 11, 2011)

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this trying time.  Your faith can be a source of comfort and support.


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## renowb (Jun 11, 2011)

Prayers to you and your family Curtis. I went through this with my Mom.


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## ldb2000 (Jun 11, 2011)

Sorry to hear this , my deepest sympathy to you and your family .


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## OKLAHOMAN (Jun 11, 2011)

Keep strong, our thoughts are with you and yours.


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## Dalecamino (Jun 11, 2011)

I wish you the best Curtis. Take care.


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## knowltoh (Jun 11, 2011)

Praying for you and your family.


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## alphageek (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  Don't worry about us here - nothing here is anywhere near as important as helping your family.


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## Florida Marine (Jun 11, 2011)

Sorry to hear, sadly I am all too familiar with this.  We just lost our third parent to cancer on Sunday night. 

You have to accept that he is out of pain, and off to a better place as he enters this phase.

God Bless

Sean


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## opfoto (Jun 11, 2011)

Sorry to hear about this difficult time for you and your family, our thoughts are with you.


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## Old Lar (Jun 11, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers going your way.


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## el_d (Jun 11, 2011)

Our prayers are with your family,  praying your father finds peace and your family strenghth.


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## Finatic (Jun 11, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I had Hospice care for my wife, please don't judge the nurses too harshly. They are among the most compassionate care givers that I have met. They just tell you the facts so you can prepare. God Bless and God Speed.
Russ


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## Pete275 (Jun 11, 2011)

I will continue praying for you and your family during this very difficult time.

Wayne


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## boxerman (Jun 11, 2011)

Prayer for you Curtis and your family. I'm very sorry to hear this about. Yes I also think Hospice is the best. My the Good Lord be with you and your family in the coming days to help each one of you through this very sad time. God Bless you all. 
Take care of yourself Curtis.


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## MSGMP (Jun 11, 2011)

Sorry, thoughts and prayers for you and your family


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## Richard Gibson (Jun 11, 2011)

Praying for peace for your dad and strength for you and your family.


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## neubee (Jun 11, 2011)

I hope all your good memory's of your Dad give you some peace during this difficult time.


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## jimm1 (Jun 11, 2011)

Almighty and Everlasting God, preserver of souls, who dost correct those whom Thou dost love, and for their betterment dost tenderly chastise those whom Thou dost receive, we call upon Thee, O Lord, to grant Thy healing, that the soulof Thy servant, at the hour of its departure from the body, may by the hands of Thy holy Angels be presented without spot unto Thee. Amen.


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## MesquiteMan (Jun 11, 2011)

Thanks everyone.  I am at home right now getting some dinner and am about to head back over there.  Fortunately, my parents only live a couple of miles away.

And just for the record, I agree that hospice is a great service and we had great experiences with my grandfather and then my step grandfather a few years ago.  It is just this particular nurse that seemed in a hurry and not happy to be there on a a Saturday.  She even went and got some drugs and brought them back.  She just plopped them down on the table in a large white bag and told us what was in it and that was it.  His fever was high and she knew it but did not even care enough to ask if we needed help inserting the tylenol suppository.  She basically dropped the drugs off and left.  We will see if she is any better tomorrow and if not, I will call the hospice director and request a different nurse.

Anyway, sorry for the rant on hospice.  It was only a rant on this particular nurse.  Hospice has been great for my family in the past.  I am also on an emotional roller coaster so that could be part of it!


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## edman2 (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis,
Recently went through this myself when I lost my Dad.  I rejoice with you that your Dad understands that his future is secure.  Hang on to the good memories.


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## Smitty37 (Jun 11, 2011)

*I will pray*

Curtis, I will pray for your dad.  I know this is a hard time for you and your family and nothing I can say will make it better.  God can help.


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## phillywood (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis, sorry to hear of this news. I pray that if that's God is wish he would be great enough to make this transition easy on him. I know it's not easy to lose a loved ones, however we all have to go and join our creator. My thoughts and prayers go to him and you and your family in this time of trials. May god grant all of you strength to go forward and heal.


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## glen r (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis, my deepest sympathy to you and your family.  As others have stated, remember the good times you had with your Dad.  If anyone is upset that you are not responding to their request immediately they don't understand compassion.


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## Rangertrek (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis, been there and done that - TWICE- unfortunately.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.


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## PenMan1 (Jun 11, 2011)

Hang in there, Curtis. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know, first hand, how hard this is.


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## markgum (Jun 11, 2011)

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.  
My Heavenly Father's comforting arms surround you and keep you moving forward.


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## azamiryou (Jun 11, 2011)

So sorry to hear this, I hope he goes peacefully. May you find comfort in the words and kindnesses of the people around you.


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## redbulldog (Jun 11, 2011)

Praying for you and your family. God is in control.


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## glennw (Jun 11, 2011)

You and your family are in my prayers. Always remember the good times you had with your dad, and never look back at the bad.. He will be all the woods workers with the unlimited supply of wood and tools.....


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## thewishman (Jun 11, 2011)

Best wishes to your family, you're in my prayers.


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## Phunky_2003 (Jun 11, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this trying time.


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## Bellsy (Jun 11, 2011)

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family Curtis. 

Dave


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## flyitfast (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis, I hope you and your family can feel the strength and peace in all the prayers on your behalf.
If you haven't already, give your Dad a big hug - he needs it and it will add much comfort to the last moments for both of you.
Gordon


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## corian king (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis! I know what you are going through.I lost my mother 4yrs ago to cancer and we kept her home and took care of her until the good lord came to get her.
our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.
May God bless and see you through this.
JIM


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## George7 (Jun 11, 2011)

You and your family are in my prayers. I've been in that situation with both of my parents and I know how painful it is.


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## jedgerton (Jun 11, 2011)

Curtis,

I will keep you, your Dad and your family in my prayers.  May the Lord of all look with compassion upon your Dad and your entire family in this time of need.

John


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## calpens (Jun 12, 2011)

Wishing you and your family peace & healing.


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## broitblat (Jun 12, 2011)

You have my wishes for peace and comfort for all of you.

  -Barry


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## bigeddy (Jun 12, 2011)

I will also pray for you and yours.  God Bless


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## Woodlvr (Jun 12, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers are being sent to you and your family.


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## AKPenTurner (Jun 12, 2011)

Thinking of and praying for you and your family.
Take care.


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## nava1uni (Jun 12, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers go out to you this evening.  I hope that your father is comfortable and that your family gathers strength and love from being together at this difficult time.


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## Hess (Jun 12, 2011)

Sorry to hear this.


I am a retired RN worked Hospice for a long time  Try to understand that if you have someone in Hospice they are there not to make them better but to help them and you prepare for what has to happen  and that is never fun for anyone.

A Hospice Nurse should be up front with you.   if you father is awake and with it so to speak he will deserve to understand what is happening to him so he cam prepare.  


  Please don't think this is unfeeling or that I do not understand what you are going though.  My Mother passed from CA shortly after placed in Hospice.   I  myself have The same CA  so I see it from both ways

When your father feels it is the right time, he will pass.   It is hard but you need to tell him you love him and also let him know you will be ok and when he is ready he can let go.   Do this even if he is not awake  we still hear.  and we will stay here is this place suffering longer if we feel we need to stay for or loved ones.

There ARE things worst then death.  Help your Dad let go try to be there with him  but know you are doing the right thing by keeping him home he needs to know he can go

Im am very sorry you have to do this I have been without both my folks since 91.  Not a day goes by that I do not think of them.  Now more than ever as my Circle closes I understand this  is a journey we all have to take.  
I pray God sends his Angels to cover you and your family with their wings during this your time of need.

Hess


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## JohnU (Jun 12, 2011)

I'm very sorry to hear this. My prayers go out to you and your family.


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## LandfillLumber (Jun 12, 2011)

My prayers are with you and your family,Victor


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## 61op (Jun 12, 2011)

my thoughts go out to you and your family. Otto


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## wizard (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis, My thoughts, prayers and wishes are with you and your family. Doc


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## Jim15 (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis, your dad and your whole family will remain in my prayers.


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## PR_Princess (Jun 12, 2011)

Sorry to hear Curtis. All my thoughts and wishes for the best for you, your dad and your family. Stay strong my friend.


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## OLDMAN5050 (Jun 12, 2011)

So sorry Curtis, your Dad and family are in our prayers...........


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## Russell Eaton (Jun 12, 2011)

Your family is in my prayers.


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## PTownSubbie (Jun 12, 2011)

Hang in there Curtis! When times get bad, just think of all those good things you did together.

Our thoughts are with you!


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## fiferb (Jun 12, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers are with you, Curtis. My deepest sympathies for you and your family.


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## Daniel (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis, Many prayers are being said for you and your family. I have been in your position three times in my life. Not my parents but other family members. It is very very difficult. Take care of yourself. Lots of unexpected results can crop up. If you ever need someone to just vent to. please do not be shy to bend my ear. I've been there and it is a rollercoaster.


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## Rick_G (Jun 12, 2011)

You're in our prayers Curtis.  Lost my mother in law pretty much the same way a couple weeks ago so have an idea what you are going through.


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## Monty (Jun 12, 2011)

I can't say any more than has already been said. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


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## johnnycnc (Jun 12, 2011)

I'm so sorry, Curtis. We will keep you in thoughts and prayers.


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## TellicoTurning (Jun 12, 2011)

Hess said:


> Sorry to hear this.
> 
> 
> I am a retired RN worked Hospice for a long time  Try to understand that if you have someone in Hospice they are there not to make them better but to help them and you prepare for what has to happen  and that is never fun for anyone.
> ...



Curtis,
I was going to try and offer some comfort, but I think Hess has said it best... we went through a similar situation when my mother in law passed a few years back... it was tough watching but in the end, was a good thing.. their pain and suffering passed and their life will be come peaceful again... I know you and your family are strong and will find peace again too.


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## LEAP (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis, 
We are so sorry for all you are going through. It's never an easy thing to loose a loved one. We will hold your family in our thoughts, hearts and prayers. If there is anything you need please don't hesitate to call.


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## sbwertz (Jun 12, 2011)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## oldstoker (Jun 12, 2011)

Praying for you and your Family.

Joe........


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## tbroye (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis

My thoughts and Prayers are with you and you family at this sad time.


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## jallan (Jun 12, 2011)

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless
Jallan


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## monark88 (Jun 12, 2011)

My thoughts are with your family during these difficult days ahead. I've been thru this twice this past year and know what you are experiencing. Again, you have my blessings.

(The hospice nurse (who I think absolutely sucks with no compassion but  that is a different topic) volunteered without us asking that it will  only be 2 or 3 days.)

I know what you mean. You find some wonderfully compasionate ones and you find some, as you unfortunately have, that have been sensitised to family needs. They need to move on to another job. My family has experienced both kinds.Also in Doctors as well. 

Don't let these people get you down.

Russ


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## Padre (Jun 12, 2011)

My prayers and thoughts are with you my friend.  If there's anything I can do, just call.


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## asyler (Jun 12, 2011)

our thoughts and prayers go out to you and family


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## Fred (Jun 12, 2011)

Curtis ... We are here for you and your family at this time. Prayers are going out to you and your father. Blessing to you all.


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## JeffT (Jun 12, 2011)

Our thoughts and prayers for you and your family.


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## 76winger (Jun 12, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family Curtis.


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## Gary Beasley (Jun 12, 2011)

Hoping he can leave with dignity and all the love in the world with him. My thoughts are with you. Celebrate his life with your loved ones.


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## bitshird (Jun 12, 2011)

Sorry to hear this Curtis, I hope is passing is easy on him, I realize it will be hell on the rest of you, but best to remember the good moments and not see the hospital way of passing. My prayers are with you and your family.


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## Glenn McCullough (Jun 12, 2011)

Sadly, prayers are with you and your family.


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## johnspensandmore (Jun 12, 2011)

Sorry to hear this, Curtis. Our prayers are with you and your family.


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## obone (Jun 12, 2011)

my thoughts and prayers are with you Curtis


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## bmac (Jun 12, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family, Curtis.

Bobby McCarley


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## IPD_Mrs (Jun 12, 2011)

Continued prayers are with you and your family Curtis.  May his passing be easy and your family be comforted by the strength and memories you share. 

Linda


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## jaeger (Jun 13, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Curtis.


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## simomatra (Jun 13, 2011)

Very sorry to hear this Curtis, our prayer are with you and all your family, God bless.


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## interwood (Jun 13, 2011)

*Praying for you in Australia*

Hi Curtis,

Praying in Australia for You, your Dad and Family.  May God Bless you all.

Chris


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## cnirenberg (Jun 13, 2011)

Curtis,
Our prayers are with you and your family.


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## gad5264 (Jun 13, 2011)

Prayers sent from my family to yours MM


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## GaryMGg (Jun 13, 2011)

Curtis,
My thoughts and prayers for you, your dad and your family.
When my Father-in-law was in hospice, we watched him struggle to stay with us until the nurse made everyone stop touching him and kissing him.
We each said goodbye and let him know we loved him and knowing we would survive,
he felt comfortable and able to take his leave to be at peace and go home to his maker.

May the memories of good times together bring you peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Gary


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## pianomanpj (Jun 13, 2011)

Thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend. Please take good care.


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## jscola (Jun 13, 2011)

Thoughts & prayers are with you & your dad & family   :Joe S.


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## rkimery (Jun 13, 2011)

Just before Father's day to boot.  Our prayers are with you my friend! You will be back on here we know, but it is time to be with and take care of the family!


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## ToddMR (Jun 13, 2011)

Wow very sorry to hear about this Curtis.  I wish you guys all the best, and I hope things will progress the way you and your family feels is best.  Thinking about you during this hard time.


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## doddman70 (Jun 13, 2011)

May God Bless you all during this time, You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers


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## jttheclockman (Jun 13, 2011)

Curtis, my thoughts and prayers continue your family's way. These are so very tough times and it reminds us all how fragile life is. I went through hospice with my Dad and making these decisions are very tough but hang in there my friend.


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## Brooks803 (Jun 13, 2011)

Prayers sent Curtis. From my family to yours.


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## hans4711 (Jun 23, 2011)

Hello Curtis
I wish you and your family the best for the coming period.
Hans


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## Ligget (Jun 23, 2011)

Prayers to you and your family Curtis!


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## itzapen (Jun 23, 2011)

Curtis,
   All my prayers are with you and the family.  Take care my friend.


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