# Please and Thank You



## skiprat (Dec 13, 2012)

In the few years that I've been a proud member of this site, one of the big things that is encouraged is that this is a family site and as such our decent behaviour is expected. Mostly, I expect, so that we don't unneccassarily (sp?) offend anyone. 
Cool, we can all agree to that. 
Another thing our behaviour does is set examples. 
We all have read the posts where youngsters aren't being taught to write or spell, or do maths etc and we whine about it. And that modern kids have no respect for elders etc etc. But perhaps *we* are to blame. 
In this modern era of interwebby stuff we often forget that it's actually another PERSON that responds to our posts.
This forum ISN'T Google. It doesn't just spurt out the answer to your key worded questions. PEOPLE sitting at their PCs take the time to answer you to the best of their ability. 

There have been a few occasions recently where questions have been asked ( pretty bluntly too IIMSS ) where the poster got good answers but never bothered to just say thanks. 
One was an American and the other was a Brit. 

Guys, you are ruining it for everyone. If you can't say *please* when you ask, or *thank you* when you get great answers, then people will stop answering the questions. 

The younger generation is technologically light years ahead of most of us here but they are learning from our bad habits. 
Lets show our next generation that manners SHOULD be used even when typing on a machine.

Please:biggrin:


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## PWL (Dec 13, 2012)

Totally agree Skip! Common courtesy sometimes isn't so common.
PW


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## wiz9777 (Dec 13, 2012)

Agreed. I even still open a door for a lady.


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## GoodTurns (Dec 13, 2012)

Thank you!


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## OKLAHOMAN (Dec 13, 2012)

*Thank you* for bringing that to our attention, *please* everyone it's not hard to be courteous, you will find that your questions will always be answered graciously.


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## Kretzky (Dec 13, 2012)

wiz9777 said:


> Agreed. I even still open a door for a lady.


I'll hold a door for anyone, (many now don't, they just barge through & let it go), usually they don't even acknowledge me. I'll often then add, "You're most welcome!" I once held a door for a "lady" who said "I don't need a man to hold a door open for me!" Sometimes you just can't win. :frown:



PWL said:


> Totally agree Skip! Common courtesy sometimes isn't so common.
> PW


A bit like common sense, it's amazing how un-common it is!


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## jeff (Dec 13, 2012)

That's a very good point, and thanks for making it. Many people look at forums as a resource not a community. We are definitely BOTH!


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## alamocdc (Dec 13, 2012)

You are dead right, Steven. And you have me panicly (is that even a word?) raking through my once able memory trying to figure out if I was the Yank responsible. I pray not! But if it was, just PM me and I'll fix it. I swear, there are days I'm surprised I remember to put my pants on before I walk out the door!

And it's all karma. My brother and I mercilessly made fun of our mother's memory while she was still alive. But hers was HORRIBLE! She'd ask the same thing three or four times in as many hours. So If I ever fail in something like this post was about, just remind me. I promise I'm not being rude. I just forgot.

What were we talking about again? :wink:


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## keithkarl2007 (Dec 13, 2012)

I guess that includes me. :redface: In my thread where I asked if someone could get something for me I never said please or thanks. I'm sorry about that, I was just really peaved that I couldn't just get it directly from the seller.


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## Rob73 (Dec 13, 2012)

There is a young generation here?


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## Mason Kuettel (Dec 13, 2012)

Thanks for making a great point, it made me think about a quote on my "Demotivators" calendar:

"Mercy: Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them."

Slightly humorous and even more true than I care to admit (and I'm not all that old!).


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## PenMan1 (Dec 13, 2012)

Well spoken! Especially, when we take into account that they come from a dumpster Rodent PLEASE continue your good works on this important mission, Skip! AND Thank You for you candid and timely comments.


And just in case I don't get to post again, beforehand, I wish you and yours the brightest of Holiday seasons. You always have been and continue to be a great voice of reason in our "family" here!


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## jttheclockman (Dec 13, 2012)

Now we get to see what our boss looks like. I think more people will tow the line now.


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## Mike D (Dec 13, 2012)

Absolutely correct SKIPRAT! Thanks!


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## skiprat (Dec 13, 2012)

jttheclockman said:


> Now we get to see what our boss looks like. I think more people will tow the line now.


 

You and me both JT !!!  He used to have the friendly geeky bespecticaled cartoon avatar, but now he looks more like a 'folically challenged bouncer' at a night club!!!:biggrin: 

One great aspects of this forum is, is that after a while we actually get to 'know' our fellow members to a certain extent. After a while we get to know their character and this allows us, amongst other things, to relax a bit and take the Micky out of each other and share jokes etc. To me, having an on-line sense of humour is paramount. Unconditional participacition is a must. Come here with an alterior motive and you will soon be found out. 

My 'real life' friends and colleagues are all similar age to me, but here the range is amazing and I get on great with folks I later find out are younger than my kids or older than my Grandparents would be, but it doesn't seem to matter at all. 

All in all, not a bad place to spend your free time!!
Thanks!!:biggrin:


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## plantman (Dec 13, 2012)

:bananen_smilies035: Skip; I agree with you 110% !!!! The thing that burns my butt the most, is when a member asks a question and someone gives them a dumb or smart a$$ answer. I have been told that I just don't know the person giving the answer. That's correct, I have never met the person giving this answer. All I have to go on is what they type on this site. When someone reaches out for help and you give them a dumb or smart a$$ answer, you aren't helping out anyone, yourself most of all. I remember my mother bringing me to see " Bambi ". In the movie Thumper's mother tells him " If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all ". I think this idea still holds true today, unless they are asking for C&C to improve their skills. Second butt burner. No reply to new people's threads. The first thing I do when I enter this site is to go down the list of new threads and look for any that have little or no replys. I like to let people know that there is someone here that is interested in there work. If nobody answers their threads, or comments on their work, ( good or bad ) we will lose these people. We all were new at one time. Happy Holidays to everyone !!! Jim S


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## hehndc (Dec 13, 2012)

I don't post that often, but check in regularity, and I agree with you.  Will say that, to my observation, the grand majority are polite questions and answers.

This is a nice place to be, (online that is).

BTW, thanks for reading. ;.)

Steve


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## Jgrden (Dec 13, 2012)

Okay Skippy, you are right. 

Thank you.


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## HoratioHornblower (Dec 13, 2012)

Good point Skip! I thought "These are good observations" and then I thought that "What if I have done this?!?!?!" So I had to go back and check and I found out that I didn't miss anything, at least in the last little while for when I checked. Im not always very active though either, but I do try to respond to people. Thanks for bringing this up!


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## NotURMailman (Dec 13, 2012)

I hope, as a fairly new member, I haven't been an offending party. I try to be sure to thank everyone for their help. 

I do tend to make jokes and sometimes forget that the intention of humor doesn't come across online like it would in person.


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## wiset1 (Dec 13, 2012)

Well put and it's nice to see it in print.  Thank you for posting this


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## LarryDNJR (Dec 13, 2012)

Kretzky said:


> wiz9777 said:
> 
> 
> > Agreed. I even still open a door for a lady.
> ...



I love the shocked look on peoples faces when they don't know how to act.  As if they never seen someone hold a door open.  Oh the favorite is when they then try to slide in behind you to get the door you opened for them as if they are now being the good guy.


Oh and I should add.. Thank you for the post.


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## markgum (Dec 13, 2012)

THANK YOU ALL...


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## MarkD (Dec 13, 2012)

Thank you Skip!


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## CharlesJohnson (Dec 13, 2012)

Thanks Skip.  This is a forum to be proud of.  Yes we do need some reminding that being nice to each other makes the speaker a happier person as much as the spoken to.  Thanks to all who contribute so mush to the great caring family community we all get to enjoy here.  I also like how a sharp question is answered in a friendly manner with incuragment.  Stronger as needed.  As must be.


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## ToddMR (Dec 14, 2012)

It's like those commercials that they show about paying it forward.  One good gesture or action motivates that person to do the same.  

I myself am one sarcastic person, LarryDNJR can agree with that.  I do though try to be as positive as I can on here.  I go through spurts on here with posting.  Sometimes I only lurk.  You all have been very supportive with my various health challenges and turning issues.  Many a time when I have simply talked about something going on, I receive PMs with offers of help when I wasn't even asking for it.  I would hope, should I ever say anything that has unintentionally offended someone, they would PM me and let me know.

Thanks for posting such a well thought out message Skip.


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## jimskio (Dec 14, 2012)

Speaking of the younger generation my children, ages 12 and 17, have  ALWAYS been taught to say please and thank you.  I know it is a  "Southern" thing but they have also been taught to say yes ma'am, no  ma'am, yes sir and no sir.  When I am around children that do not say  this it just seems so rude to me.  I have a friend from Iowa and she  does not expect her child to say this.  It just does not sound right  when the child is asked a question and he says "yes", and he is only 5  years old. 
My children have also been taught to say "thank you" when  they receive a gift no matter what it is and no matter if they already  have one of what they were given. I will always remember when I gave a  friend of mine's kids Christmas gifts and all I heard was "that's it?",  "i already have one of these" and the like.  Needless to say I never  gave them another thing.  
Thank you for bringing this up and I am sorry for the rant about kids.  I will also be checking my post....

thanks
Jimskio


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## Wright (Dec 14, 2012)

*Thank YOU!!!  *Skip rat that was well said. Thank you and Please should always be used, if someone helps you or tries to help it always deserves a thank you.


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## Gilrock (Dec 14, 2012)

I knew there was a catch.  I don't want any help if you expect something in return...lol.


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## Kenny Durrant (Dec 14, 2012)

Thanks for posting. This may not be a goog excuse but it's all I can come up with. First off I from an older generation and my work doesn't require me to be computer literate. Therefore I'm slow at typing and I do use two fingers and not just one to type. I know my spelling is horrible so I do use the dictionary to look up words I know I need to but sometimes I'm not as smart as I think. I do try to reply to all the answers to my questions and since my brain is faster than my too fingers I forget to wright everything I'm thinking. The last thing I want to do is appear that I'm unappreciative or worse rude. I don't know if I'm the one but that being said it wouldn't surprise me. I do want to thank all who give their knowlege and ideas so that others can enjoy this great hobbie.


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## jttheclockman (Dec 14, 2012)

plantman said:


> :bananen_smilies035: Skip; I agree with you 110% !!!! The thing that burns my butt the most, is when a member asks a question and someone gives them a dumb or smart a$$ answer. I have been told that I just don't know the person giving the answer. That's correct, I have never met the person giving this answer. All I have to go on is what they type on this site. When someone reaches out for help and you give them a dumb or smart a$$ answer, you aren't helping out anyone, yourself most of all. I remember my mother bringing me to see " Bambi ". In the movie Thumper's mother tells him " If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all ". I think this idea still holds true today, unless they are asking for C&C to improve their skills. Second butt burner. No reply to new people's threads. The first thing I do when I enter this site is to go down the list of new threads and look for any that have little or no replys. I like to let people know that there is someone here that is interested in there work. If nobody answers their threads, or comments on their work, ( good or bad ) we will lose these people. We all were new at one time. Happy Holidays to everyone !!! Jim S


 

There are 2 sides to this remark though. This being one site that has a constant influx of newbies and with that comes the same old and I mean old questions that many  people such as myself have seen and answered many times over. I have stopped answering most of the times. This is no reason to give a tart answer but you get my point.  

 Now don't get me wrong it is encouraged for Newbies to get involved and ask questions. It makes them start to get the feel of becoming a part of the community. But and this is a big BUT, it helps if said Newbie would do alittle searching first before asking these questions. That is why sometimes harsh answers show up. My theory is this. I think the Newdie is doing themselves an injustice or shortchanging themselves. The reason I say this is because like I said some of the most basic questions are asked over and over and have been answered many times. At some point less and less people start answering these questions and then you have Newbies answering Newbie questions. If they would do a search first they would probably and I know for sure they would find more complete answers from alot of people. That is why I say they are shortchanging themselves. 

Just an opinion.


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## Leatherman1998 (Dec 14, 2012)

Rob73 said:


> There is a young generation here?



Off topic, "Me" 

Back on topic

Thank you Skiprat. I sometimes have to work with the issue at hand. There are people my age around me at CAP and other places that do not care. To me that is a vary large problem and I can look back and see I might be part of the problem.

Levi Woodard
Woodardwoodworks.com

Sent from my Galaxy player using Forum Runner


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## plantman (Dec 14, 2012)

jttheclockman said:


> plantman said:
> 
> 
> > :bananen_smilies035: Skip; I agree with you 110% !!!! The thing that burns my butt the most, is when a member asks a question and someone gives them a dumb or smart a$$ answer. I have been told that I just don't know the person giving the answer. That's correct, I have never met the person giving this answer. All I have to go on is what they type on this site. When someone reaches out for help and you give them a dumb or smart a$$ answer, you aren't helping out anyone, yourself most of all. I remember my mother bringing me to see " Bambi ". In the movie Thumper's mother tells him " If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all ". I think this idea still holds true today, unless they are asking for C&C to improve their skills. Second butt burner. No reply to new people's threads. The first thing I do when I enter this site is to go down the list of new threads and look for any that have little or no replys. I like to let people know that there is someone here that is interested in there work. If nobody answers their threads, or comments on their work, ( good or bad ) we will lose these people. We all were new at one time. I think if you refer them to the li Happy Holidays to everyone !!! Jim S
> ...


 
John; Every year the same teachers have new students that ask the same questions that were asked the year before. Because the "Newbies" are asking the same questions should they, the teachers, stop answering the questions?? The "Newbies" need to be pointed in the right direction. You don't have to answer the same old question, just tell them where they can find the answer. I have been on this site for awhile now, and I still don't know what it all contains or how to get to it. Every time I look through it I find something I didn't know was in there. I understand what you are saying. I started making pens about 15 years ago, and I had no one to ask, books to look at, or web sites to go to. These old questions are not old to the people asking them !! It's always easier to answer an old or dumb question than to correct a bad mistake. I also dislike lables such as Newbie, Amature, Professional, and Master. We are all turners !! I never get tired of talking about woodworking in any way, shape, or form. If I can help someone with a problem, save them time or money, or show them a different way of doing something, all the better. You can read all the books, watch all the videos, or ask all the questions you want, but until you try something with your own hands, you have no idea what results to expect. I think if you refer them to the library the first time, they will go there first the next time they have a question or need help. If not, they are only going to learn slowly, one step at a time. Thank you to all who care enough to share the very best !! Happy Holidays to all !!!       Jim S


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## kruzzer (Dec 14, 2012)

Well said Steve, and a great reminder to us all...


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## nava1uni (Dec 16, 2012)

Well said.  Thanks for the input.


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## TellicoTurning (Dec 16, 2012)

plantman said:


> jttheclockman said:
> 
> 
> > plantman said:
> ...



On the subject of repeated questions from the newbies.... a long time ago I was told by a very wise chief petty officer, *the only dumb question is the question you didn't ask. *  We all had to learn at some time or other and we all asked questions... it doesn't matter if I've been asked a question before, if I have an answer, I'll try to help a person to learn.


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## jimm1 (Dec 16, 2012)

*Please* & *Thank You* are 3 powerful words. Using them can bring smiles. Thank you Skiprat for reminding all of us that everyone has this kind of power.


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## Bob Wemm (Dec 17, 2012)

NotURMailman said:


> I hope, as a fairly new member, I haven't been an offending party. I try to be sure to thank everyone for their help.
> 
> I do tend to make jokes and sometimes forget that the intention of humor doesn't come across online like it would in person.


 
I too, am a fairly new member, and I agree entirely with everything that has been said here. However, I do have a "different" sense of humour and I would be devastated to think that I have upset anyone. If I have, please let me know.

Thanks Skip for the thread.

Bob.


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## Displaced Canadian (Dec 17, 2012)

I once heard a great response to," You don't have to hold the door open because I'm a lady." The response was," Ma'am I'm not holding this door open because you're a lady, I'm holding this door open because I'm a gentleman."


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## pianomanpj (Dec 17, 2012)

You could have replied:

"I'm sorry, my mistake. I thought I was holding the door for a lady."



Kretzky said:


> wiz9777 said:
> 
> 
> > Agreed. I even still open a door for a lady.
> ...


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## joefyffe (Dec 17, 2012)

Displaced Canadian said:


> I once heard a great response to," You don't have to hold the door open because I'm a lady." The response was," Ma'am I'm not holding this door open because you're a lady, I'm holding this door open because I'm a gentleman."


 
good answer!  My wife and I have been married 38 years and I still open and close her car door for her.  I also hold restaurant doors for other approaching ladies or  couples, allowing them to enter first.  I know that doesn't make me anything special but it helps me feel good about myself and most express their appreciation.  Thanks, Skip for pointing this out.  I hope I'm not one who has forgotten to say thanks, but if I have then I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one for any help or advice which they may have given.  Thanks!


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## jttheclockman (Dec 17, 2012)

TellicoTurning said:


> plantman said:
> 
> 
> > jttheclockman said:
> ...


 

I will stand behind my answer because I see people have not really read what I wrote but that is OK.


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## plantman (Dec 17, 2012)

jttheclockman said:


> TellicoTurning said:
> 
> 
> > plantman said:
> ...


 
John; There were 1,232 people that read your comment. I am sure that everyone of them did not misunderstand you. What ever you choose to do or not do is your choise, it's not a major topic to the rest of us. Twenty little children who will not see Santa this year at Christmas  is! Pease to you John !!  And I hope that you and your's have happy holidays.  Jim S


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## jttheclockman (Dec 17, 2012)

plantman said:


> jttheclockman said:
> 
> 
> > TellicoTurning said:
> ...


 

Again Jim you did not understand me. I was talking to all that keep quoting me every time this quote keeps getting longer and longer and you too have a Merry Christmas. Very poor taste to bring up such a tradgedy. I don't understand you. What in the world does that have to do with the topic. 

My heart goes out to all that were affected by such a horrific event and to all the people and familys around the world that have hardships to endure. Wow. Where did this go


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## plantman (Dec 18, 2012)

jttheclockman said:


> plantman said:
> 
> 
> > jttheclockman said:
> ...


John I was trying to convey to you that there are things happening around us that are more important than this conversation or topic. Sorry if I offended you with my example !!  THE END  Jim S


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## Gilrock (Dec 18, 2012)

Can you guys keep going?  I want to see what happens when the "Quoted by UserX" text gets pushed over to the right margin.  It's kinda looking like one of those mirrors that go on to infinity....lol.


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## Joe S. (Dec 18, 2012)

Gilrock said:


> Can you guys keep going?  I want to see what happens when the "Quoted by UserX" text gets pushed over to the right margin.  It's kinda looking like one of those mirrors that go on to infinity....lol.



I saw another site that did that,
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## skiprat (Jul 20, 2014)

I just figured I'd give this old thread a bump.......:biggrin::wink:

Apologies if you've seen it before.  :wink:


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## mark james (Jul 20, 2014)

I read the thread from start to finish.  (Was a new member when the original come out).  I like reruns!

I especially liked Plantmans post about being a "teacher. (which actually I am).

... to paraphrase:  Every year we see new students, they ask the same questions as the students last year...  So my job is to repeat the same answers every year...

YUP!  Teachers... (are supposed to teach).  

As a mid-newbie, I still have a lot to learn, but I now do know about the library and the search function...

Teach the "young-lings" (Yoda).  If this is a irritant, don't respond.

And yes, be polite, that new turner may be the best of the best in 2 years!


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## KenV (Jul 20, 2014)

Does that mean that Jim and John get to see who can create the longest quote string?


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## GaryMGg (Jul 20, 2014)

I was thinkin' I could multi-quote the entire thread and
follow it with my own misunderstanding--huh?

Thanks Skiprat :biggrin:


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