# Constructive Feedback requested



## Cwalker935 (Mar 12, 2017)

I would like some constructive feedback on the shape and proportions of this pen.  Any suggestions for improvement would be greatly welcomed.  I plan on adding a roll stopper later.  Thanks


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## TonyL (Mar 12, 2017)

Very nice pen. The cap seems a little wide (in diam., and even wider at the top) and long in length - from the photo anyway. I do think it is definitely one to be very proud of.


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## Cwalker935 (Mar 12, 2017)

TonyL said:


> Very nice pen. The cap seems a little wide (in diam., and even wider at the top) and long in length - from the photo anyway. I do think it is definitely one to be very proud of.



Thanks Tony, the wall thickness is only about a 1/16" of an inch so I don't think I can make it any smaller in diameter plus the diameter is uniform up to the point where the taper begins.  I think the photo may be causing you to think that the top is larger.  I agree that the top seems too long but I cannot shorten it if I want to keep the tapered end.  The solution may be to lengthen the bottom.


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## jttheclockman (Mar 12, 2017)

It maybe the picture but it does seem bulky. I am also not a fan of the round or pointed ends. I love it when people either square the ends with an accent piece or angle them somewhat. Gives the pen some flare. Yes the big companies make pens like that but I am not a fan of them either. Just an opinion . Nice material.


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## bpgoldo (Mar 12, 2017)

Cody, good for you for asking. Look for answers that echo any "little voice" that is urging your to question your choices. Acknowledge it and decide if you agree....and then just make em like you feel em. As a craftsman and artist, your best choices satisfy your own taste and style. There is ALWAYS someone out there that will agree and want to own your vision. Just as there will ALWAYS be voices to challenge your own. Your pen is impressive as presented, and is a clarion of your creative heart and soul.


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## Cwalker935 (Mar 12, 2017)

jttheclockman said:


> It maybe the picture but it does seem bulky. I am also not a fan of the round or pointed ends. I love it when people either square the ends with an accent piece or angle them somewhat. Gives the pen some flare. Yes the big companies make pens like that but I am not a fan of them either. Just an opinion . Nice material.



I prefer the squared and angled looks as well.  The tapered look seems very popular and I wanted to give it a try.  The bulky appearance may be also be associated with the top being proportionately longer and the lower tube being on the slim side.  The top is .577" in diameter and the bottom is .5" in diameter.  I could make the lower end slightly thicker and longer and I think his would make the overall effect more proportional.  I really cannot go any thinner or shorter with the top with the taper.  Thanks for your comments.


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## mredburn (Mar 12, 2017)

the 
.577 and 
.500 are close to jr gent size pens .  The cap looks a little longer than normal kits we are used to.  What is the actual cap length.  The caps on kit pens can look shorter because the Hardware breaks up the look of the length.
Your pen looks fine as far as technique goes.  
Style or design is a personal preference and everyone will have a different opinion on whether its ok or not.  Try different designs until you find the one(s) that you like to make, or if your selling that others like well enough to buy. THere is no wrong answer if you have proper fit and finish.


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## Cwalker935 (Mar 12, 2017)

mredburn said:


> the
> .577 and
> .500 are close to jr gent size pens .  The cap looks a little longer than normal kits we are used to.  What is the actual cap length.  The caps on kit pens can look shorter because the Hardware breaks up the look of the length.
> Your pen looks fine as far as technique goes.
> Style or design is a personal preference and everyone will have a different opinion on whether its ok or not.  Try different designs until you find the one(s) that you like to make, or if your selling that others like well enough to buy. THere is no wrong answer if you have proper fit and finish.



Here is a photo of the pen side by side with a Jr Majestic. The tops are almost identical in length. Diameters ar very close as well, the only difference is that my lower tube is slightly shorter.


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## Charlie_W (Mar 12, 2017)

Your comparison pic helps a lot! I think it seems long due to the barrel being slimmer. Wonderful pen! I like it! Keep doing what you are doing!


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## Curly (Mar 12, 2017)

You could as an alternative to making the barrel longer is to make the section and cap shorter. Denis Soligen, can't remember his IAP name, made his pens with the cap threads on the section. That's what was done for a Collaboration pen our group did a few years ago. A picture of a proof of concept section I did to make sure I understood how to make it. It was for a Bock #6 feed.


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## gbpens (Mar 12, 2017)

Is it really the proportion that is off or is it an optical illusion due to the blue/white marbled material used? By itself, with no other comparison to other styles utilizing accenting materials, it is beautiful. If you had wanted a narrow appearance you might have used accent pieces or a different color/pattern. If you are truly not satisfied with the appearance look at your choice of pattern in the material. I believe your technical aspects such as proportion are good. This pattern just does not do it justice.


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## jttheclockman (Mar 12, 2017)

I suggest you take a look at Brook's pens he just posted and that will give you a good idea of a well balanced and nice design pen. Those I would be proud to own. 

www.penturners.org/forum/f13/matching-duo-146837/


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## leehljp (Mar 12, 2017)

I agree with gbpens assessment on proportions above. I like rounded, angles and squares, but in the right proportions. I have made pens with angles and 1° angle difference between one pen and the other sometimes makes all the difference in the world. As to round, I like rounds well but the proportions seem off a tad.

I am not an artist but happened upon the right proportions on a few pens, but not on many more. My son in law is an artist (and a teacher) and he has an eye for the right proportions. Most artists do. I wish I had it, but I just have to hit or miss.

And thanks for asking. You will succeed!


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## duncsuss (Mar 12, 2017)

I've made a couple of pens with the cap threads on the tip of the section (one pic attached). It can work, but there's a chance of the section unscrewing from the barrel with the cap still screwed onto the section 

I like to taper the cap and have found I can do it without risking the walls getting too thin by stepping the internal bore. I drill with 2 or 3 different bits, so the hole gets smaller towards the tip of the cap. (I always have to draw it out first, with dimensions showing how large the bore has to be to clear the wings of the nib, the tip of the section, etc.)


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## mark james (Mar 12, 2017)

In addition to the above comments, I also favor some accent rings like what Jonathon Brooks and dunscuss included.  As to the profile tapers, the ones displayed by dunscuss look very appealing.

However, for a "proof-of concept," your skills are growing in leaps and bounds!


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## Cwalker935 (Mar 12, 2017)

With apologies to Jonathon, I downloaded his photo and spliced it side by side with my pen.  While this photo highlights how far I have to go to be a high quality kitless pen maker, It supports my conclusion that increasing the diameter and length of the lower portion of my pen would help my proportions.  Adding accent rings and a clip is on my list of things to do to advance my kitless skills.  Thanks for the constructive feedback.


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## Lucky2 (Mar 13, 2017)

Even though the blank has a lot of swirls and curls in it, the pen just looks to plane. It needs some dressing up, bands and a clip might be an improvement. But, I'm not sure that it can be dressed up enough to make it a pen a person would by. Personally, I don't like the look and color of the blank,it's to busy and it's the wrong color of blue for this type of pen.
Len


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