# Executive Control .... Civility



## DocStram (Dec 11, 2008)

Ever hear of "_Executive Control"_ as it relates to brain function?   It's an interesting concept.  Essentially, it's the idea that the human brain uses _Executive Control_ to help us deal with various life situations.   It helps us to decide how to handle life events; how to treat people when you're upset with them; and, what strategies to use to be successful in life.

_Executive control_ is what we need to use when we read a post that we disagree with or one that makes us angry.   Before hitting the "submit" key on your computer, let's all first try using a little _executive control_.

_Civility_ is one of the keys for building a community of learners.   And that is what IAP is .... a community of penturners who want to learn more about their craft.  Treating each other with _civility_ and _respect ...... _seems reasonable to me.  Don't you think?  * 
**
*


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## dntrost (Dec 11, 2008)

Great post Doc I fully agree!


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## sam (Dec 11, 2008)

WELL STATED. I think.


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## pipecrafter (Dec 11, 2008)

I've never heard that terminology before, but I agree.  I do think a little tempering of the impulses is necessary in all kinds of social interaction.


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## wood-of-1kind (Dec 11, 2008)

Nice to read something that makes total sense.  : )


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## Ozzy (Dec 11, 2008)

I agree 100% Doc.


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## ed4copies (Dec 11, 2008)

I hate it when someone tries to change a 
*TRADITION!!!!*

(Quarterly rants are a requirement of our community ---)​


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## markgum (Dec 11, 2008)

QUARTERLY ??????  hmmmm better watch my quota..


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## ilikewood (Dec 11, 2008)

Hey.....aren't you the one who labeled me "Weasel"



Just kidding you Doc.  I agree fully with your post!


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## THarvey (Dec 11, 2008)

ed4copies said:


> I hate it when someone tries to change a
> *TRADITION!!!!*
> 
> (Quarterly rants are a requirement of our community ---)​




Do you mean quarter-hourly???  Was that a typo Ed?


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## fiferb (Dec 11, 2008)

Like this quote you made?:biggrin:

NEVER .... EVER .... make fun of Harbor Freight. 

I'm reporting ALL of you to them right now.


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## alphageek (Dec 11, 2008)

ed4copies said:


> I hate it when someone tries to change a
> *TRADITION!!!!*
> 
> (Quarterly rants are a requirement of our community ---)​



Gives new meaning to the birthday "bash"...

Well spoken Doc.   Actually the worst of it is online.   It is so hard to show the nuances of speech in writing, especially with people you don't know in person.  Satire, teasing, tongue-in-cheek, etc are so hard in text.


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## Daniel (Dec 11, 2008)

ilikewood said:


> Hey.....aren't you the one who labeled me "Weasel"
> 
> 
> 
> Just kidding you Doc.  I agree fully with your post!



There is a difference between "irritating" and "Insulting" insults are fair play.

Seriously Doc I agree. I often read a post and my first reactions to get riled. I hate to reply while the hair is still standing on the back of my neck. usually if I keep looking the post was not meant the way I was reading it at first. Even if it was blabbering something back usually just adds fuel to the fire. sometimes people are just mad and they are going to stay that way for a while. sometimes when someone has a real bent going on the best thing you can do is cheer for them to kick it again.


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## wdcav1952 (Dec 11, 2008)

Great post, Al.

I do hope it means that members who use the term "opinionated jerks!" in recent posts will think twice before posting such terms.


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## Skye (Dec 11, 2008)

Al, the fact you posted this 20 minutes before i posted something similar makes me want to punch you in the neck meat! Pu up yer dukes!


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## DocStram (Dec 11, 2008)

Skye said:


> Al, the fact you posted this 20 minutes before i posted something similar makes me want to punch you in the neck meat! Pu up yer dukes!




Noooo Skye Man  ... I didn't post mine 20 minutes before yours.  Take another look at my time of posting.   Mine was posted 12 hours and twenty minutes before yours.  I posted mine in the middle of the night ..... while those nasty storms were blowing through Georgia.

Besides, when it comes right down to it ... you would never hit me.  Your wife loves me, remember????  And besides .... I'm the guy who gave you the Infamous Stinky Wood!!  :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:


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## wolftat (Dec 11, 2008)

DocStram said:


> \
> you would never hit me. Your wife loves me, remember???? And besides .... I'm the guy who gave you the Infamous Stinky Wood!! :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:


Sounds like 2 reasons to get into it right there. See how easy it is to take things out of context.

VALIUM for everyone!!!!!!!

I amy need to have that jerk that talks to me about anger management come on the forum.:biggrin:


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## Skye (Dec 11, 2008)

^Bahhahahahaaa!


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## DocStram (Dec 11, 2008)

wolftat said:


> Sounds like 2 reasons to get into it right there. See how easy it is to take things out of context.
> 
> VALIUM for everyone!!!!!!!
> 
> I amy need to have that jerk that talks to me about anger management come on the forum.:biggrin:




It's true, isn't it Skye??  Go ahead, tell them it's true.  Of all the creeps and weirdos in IAP ..... who does your wife like the best??  (And don't say FiferB) .....   It's me, I know it.  Okay, so I don't have a tat.  But, Mrs. Skye and I have a bond with each other ... we're both special ed people!


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## wolftat (Dec 11, 2008)

Come on Doc, leave Ed out of this.:wink:


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## ed4copies (Dec 11, 2008)

*The MOST special Ed*



wolftat said:


> Come on Doc, leave Ed out of this.:wink:


 
Nah, Doc was just talking about the generic, SPECIAL ed, not 

*THE MOST SPECIAL ED!!!!*

*ME*​


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## sdemars (Dec 11, 2008)

Not sure about "Executive Control" . . . . but I do know 1st hand that e-mailing has potential to create all the "negative" results of written correspondence. Unlike writing a letter like we did years ago where we were careful in our drafting as to not convey the wrong message. 

I have recently lost a friendship that was over 35 years old . . .  How, quick and nasty e-mails arguing over the election for president. Imagine that, when neither side really had a candidate they were that hot about . . . We both said things to each other we would have never dreamed of saying over the phone or in person . . . But ah! e-mail . . . .

Since then I am very careful when posting/replying in forums or answering e-mails . . . .

Recently I read where a large human resources consulting firm did a study & have determined that it is very possible that some of the problems we now have in the work place can be traced back to e-mailing among workers within the same office. . . . It is one thing for someone to embarrass you in front of your co-workers at the water cooler, but it is somewhat different when you see it in writing taped up in several cubicles . . . 

I work as a designer, and a lot of the people in that field are excellent sketch artist . . . I have seen some really nasty arguments over cartoons depicting another co-worker . . .

My 2 cents . .


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## Skye (Dec 11, 2008)

Yeah Al, you're both special alright! I'm gonna have to make sure to keep you two separated if you come to the shindig next year. You may not have the ink but you probably have a good scar on your forehead from that flying wood, and chicks dig scars.


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## Mudder (Dec 11, 2008)

wolftat said:


> VALIUM for everyone!!!!!!!
> 
> I amy need to have that jerk that talks to me about anger management come on the forum.:biggrin:




Valium is not the answer Neil.


BTW, Who is amy?

Seriously now........... There have been many times on this forum that I have been the opinionated jerk but I hope those times will become less and less. Not many folks know this but for many years I have had a serotonin imbalance that was either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. I finally found a doctor who is on the ball and a small dosage of Zoloft is making a HUGE difference. I still have times where the three headed monster slips out but I hope those times are few and far between. I also hope that when I begin to digress that I'll always have friends like Ed, Dawn, William, Lou and a few others (like our suuuuper moderator and our wizard behind the curtain <That would be you Jeff>) to send me a pm and help me to realize that I'm slipping.
I've also practices Skye's rule and I read and re-read my replies. There have been many that I have changed and even more that I have just not posted because I knew it would just escalate things. I had a slip very recently but one of my friends mentioned above helped me to find my way back.

I'm thankful for the many friends I've made on this forum. (That includes you Neil) and I hope that we might all take a moment to ask ourselves if the post is really necessary? Will it add anything constructive to the thread? If not then I hope we might think twice before hitting the submit reply button.

My goal is that I will appear bright, even when I speak.


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## ranchonodinero (Dec 13, 2008)

*another perspective*

I beg to differ.  There is a balance somewhere between someone who is emboldened by the keyboard and someone who is "shaped" or guilted into not saying anything for fear of offending or "hurting someones" feelings or being "politically correct".  It is almost as if we are willing to give up a abit of our rights in order to be politically correct and not say "the wrong thing".  I've never heard it referred to as executive control, but perhaps you are referring to the part of the brain that is the "governer" of sorts that deals with judgment. It is the last to fully develop-some say not until you are in your 20s and unfortunately one of the first parts of the brain to deteriorate-starting in your 50s and early 60s.


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## Nick (Dec 13, 2008)

Fully agree with Doc, very well said


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## cozee (Dec 14, 2008)

Hey Doc!! I have a question or two about this "_Executive Control" . From where does it come; from what is it formed? 

(edit _#_1) "After posting the above questions, I've done a little research on executive control by reading a a short article in the Oxford Journals Cerebral Cortex. Found it an interesting read since they state that the findings support a notion that "EC" plays an integral role in deception; lying. Think I'll dig a little more__!!"

(edit _#_2) "Okay, did a little more reading. Found a bit of info at the uiowa.edu site. Now I have another question. From a layman's view, is what we know as "Pavlov's dog" a result of "EC"? I ask this because from what I've read so far, isn't "EC" goal directed actions formed by experiences and possibilities in our lives that in turn cause us to determine, schedule, and terminate various tasks, such as our responses to a given motivator."

_And as for my brain fully developing in my 20's and deteriorating in my 50's and early 60's, I think because of some of the things I inhaled and ingested in my teens, deterioration began in my 20's and will finish in my 50's or 60's!!!! _
_


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## wolftat (Dec 14, 2008)

cozee said:


> And as for my brain fully developing in my 20's and deteriorating in my 50's and early 60's, I think because of some of the things I inhaled and ingested in my teens, deterioration began in my 20's and will finish in my 50's or 60's!!!!


 So I am guessing you are in you 70's then.:biggrin::biggrin:


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## DocStram (Dec 15, 2008)

cozee said:


> Hey Doc!! I have a question or two about this "_Executive Control" . From where does it come; from what is it formed?
> 
> (edit _#_1) "After posting the above questions, I've done a little research on executive control by reading a a short article in the Oxford Journals Cerebral Cortex. Found it an interesting read since they state that the findings support a notion that "EC" plays an integral role in deception; lying. Think I'll dig a little more__!!"
> 
> ...



Hey Cozee  ......    you raised some interesting questions.  Here's how I see it from my experience of working with kids ... focusing mostly on kids with LD and ADD.  

The way I see it, Executive Control is a psychological process that we use to consciously control our actions.  For example, you know how sometimes you'll be sitting in church listening intently to the preacher?  And ... he's up there preaching away  ... and suddenly, without realizing it, your mind begins to wander off very slightly?  And, you think of a joke somebody told you and you catch yourself starting to laugh to yourself?  And then you realize ... "Whoaaa, I'm in church! I better start paying attention to the preacher."  And then you get yourself back on track and paying attention?  You just used executive control. 

A lot of LD and ADD kids are terrible at using executive control.  They don't know how to be active learners or how to use study strategies.  Or, for that matter, how to make themselves pay attention.  

Executive control is what we use when we're sitting in IAP and read a post that ticks us off.  Rather than immediately firing off an angry response, we use executive control to think about what we're about to say and the effect it's going to have on the reader.

I see it being different than Pavlov's dogs and pure behaviorism.


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## Dalecamino (Dec 15, 2008)

Gee thanks Doc ! I never was sure before , but now I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME !! :biggrin:


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## jedgerton (Dec 15, 2008)

I agree with Doc's post but I'm not sure it has to be thought of as something as fancy as Executive control.  I'm sure that's what it is technically but I think I learned it in kindergarten and its called the golden rule...

I'm sure we all know it but just asking ourselves "will our post be helpful to others" will take care of almost any issue.  Criticism is hard to take but constructive criticism is a gift!

From what I read, the participants in this forum practice the golden rule about 99.7% of the time.  When I do see that 0.3%, I just realize that everybody has a bad day now and then.

Just my two cents...

John


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## Texatdurango (Dec 15, 2008)

jedgerton said:


> I agree with Doc's post but I'm not sure it has to be thought of as something as fancy as Executive control. I'm sure that's what it is technically but I think I learned it in kindergarten and its called the golden rule...
> 
> I'm sure we all know it but just asking ourselves "will our post be helpful to others" will take care of almost any issue. Criticism is hard to take but constructive criticism is a gift!
> 
> ...


John, What you say is very accurate but I think it goes beyond just having a bad day now and then. I am convinced that there a few members who thrive on controversy and can't wait to jump into a thread and make a mountain out of a mole hill just to spice things up or make a thread more interesting to them. I don't think any amount of civility control will work with them as it defeats their very need to post. When you see a dogpile going on, it's usually the same folks over and over again.

I'm probably the biggest kidder on the forum, a fact that is known to those who have met me in person but lately more and more of my little friendly pokes have been taken way too seriously, to the point I feel like not even posting much anymore.

It's hardly a family atmosphere when you can't kid each other and who wants to participate in a forum where you are afraid of making a light hearted remark now and then without some jerk starting an argument?

And FYI... I re-read and thought about this post before hitting the submit button and decided to go ahead and hit submit anyway. In a perfect world, everyone would indeed practice civility control but we need to at least realize that some won't. And that's my 2 cents!


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## wdcav1952 (Dec 15, 2008)

George, that post was only worth one cent!!  :wink::tongue::wink:


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## ed4copies (Dec 15, 2008)

wdcav1952 said:


> George, that post was only worth one cent!! :wink::tongue::wink:


 
George is retired Cav, he throws money around all the time!!!

(Just wish I could be closer to catch some of it!!)


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## ed4copies (Dec 15, 2008)

Hey, Cav!!

Should we pile on George again??!??!?!??!!??


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## Texatdurango (Dec 15, 2008)

wdcav1952 said:


> George, that post was only worth one cent!! :wink::tongue::wink:


Yeah I know, I started to write more (then you would have gotten your moneys worth) but decided to go out and play in the shop awile instead.  

Geeze......... it's COLD out there!  I hate it when you have to preheat the shop just to do a little playing.

Well, it ought to be warm again so ADIOS for awhile, I'm off to see if alumilite sets up quickly in the cold!


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## Texatdurango (Dec 15, 2008)

ed4copies said:


> Hey, Cav!!
> 
> Should we pile on George again??!??!?!??!!??


ABSOLUTELY NOT... I will not stand to be dogpiled on again... and that's that!:tongue:


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## ed4copies (Dec 15, 2008)

Texatdurango said:


> ABSOLUTELY NOT... I will not stand to be dogpiled on again... and that's that!:tongue:


 
You don't have to stand, we allow sitting ducks!!


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## wdcav1952 (Dec 15, 2008)

Ed, he called us dogs!!!!  For you that is a compliment, but I am offended!!  :wink:


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## DocStram (Dec 15, 2008)

Dang ... wish I knew how to do "multiple quotes".  I just came across a whole string of  "Non-Executive Control" examples.  :biggrin::biggrin:


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## fiferb (Dec 15, 2008)

Al, I was reading your church analogy but before I was able to finish my mind wandered. What were you saying?


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## OldWrangler (Dec 15, 2008)

But there are always a few people who need to be hammered. Your idea is something like being "politically correct" and I'm agin that!!


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## DocStram (Dec 16, 2008)

fiferb said:


> Al, I was reading your church analogy but before I was able to finish my mind wandered. What were you saying?



Good one, Bruce. :biggrin::biggrin:

Actually, I was saying that my wife wishes you would return the silverware you "accidentally" packed in your suitcase.


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## fiferb (Dec 16, 2008)

DocStram said:


> Good one, Bruce. :biggrin::biggrin:
> 
> Actually, I was saying that my wife wishes you would return the silverware you "accidentally" packed in your suitcase.


 
I would but I'm already starting to melt them down. I'm trying to learn how to make my own hardware for pens.:biggrin: Next will be silver dollar coins. :biggrin: By the way, I'm running low, is she getting a new silver set for Christmas?


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## ed4copies (Dec 16, 2008)

Just have Doc empty his pockets.  Ought to be several "Susan B Anthony"'s there!


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## edman2 (Dec 18, 2008)

DocStram said:


> For example, you know how sometimes you'll be sitting in church listening intently to the preacher? And ... he's up there preaching away ... and suddenly, without realizing it, your mind begins to wander off very slightly?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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