# THE IDIOTS AMONG US??????????



## Monty (Mar 4, 2014)

New sign at Wal-Mart

















Our society is doomed.............. 

IDIOT SIGHTING


*I handed the teller @     my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 
    I said "May I have large bills, please" 
*
*She looked at me and said "I'm sorry     sir, all the bills are the same size."
    When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....*





*IDIOT SIGHTING* 
*When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership     to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to     the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock     the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively     tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I     announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got     that side.' 
*
*This was at the Ford dealership in  Canton , MS
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING
*We had     to have the garage door repaired. 
    The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not     have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
    I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at     that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded     that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
    He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'





*We haven't used     Sears repair since.
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING
**My daughter and I     went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
    She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way     you can just give me a dollar bill back.
    She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we     could not do that kind of thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. *

*Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
*My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a     taco.
    She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' 
    He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
*--     From Kansas City       
*
*IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at     the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
    To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'*





*Happened in  Birmingham , Ala.*

*IDIOT SIGHTING
*The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the     street.
    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She     asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'*

She was a probation     officer in Wichita , KS*





*IDIOT SIGHTING
**At a good-bye     luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to     'downsizing,'
    our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more     often.'
    Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that     deer-in-the-headlights stare.*





*This was a lunch at     Texas Instruments.*






*IDIOT SIGHTING**
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
    and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not     turn on. *





*A deputy with the     Dallas County Sheriffâ€™s office, no less.*



*
IDIOT SIGHTING
**How would you     pronounce this child's name?
    "Le-a"
    Leah?? NO
    Lee - A?? NOPE 
    Lay - a?? NO 
    Lei?? Guess Again.
    This child attends a school in**   Kansas City, Mo. 
    Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
    It's pronounced "Ledasha".
    When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said,     "the dash don't be silent." *





*SO, if you see     something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the     dash.
**If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

*STAY ALERT!


----------



## PaulDoug (Mar 4, 2014)

thanks for the chuckles!


----------



## SteveG (Mar 4, 2014)

I just went through all those unseemly things we sometimes do when the laughter is just too strong or too spontaneous. Thanks!   Very tired, going 2 - n 2 the bedroom and take a nap. (The - is not silent Here either)


----------



## ashaw (Mar 4, 2014)

I am going to steal this one if is ok.  I am still shaking my head....


----------



## Bob Wemm (Mar 4, 2014)

KOOOL Monty.
Thanks for the giggles.

Bob.


----------



## TLTHW (Mar 4, 2014)

My wife says her name is really pronounced Lehyphena!


----------



## Sylvanite (Mar 5, 2014)

A customer asked for a "coupla red" blank(s), and the maker replied "What color is 'coupla red'?"

Sorry, I couldn't resist :biggrin:


----------



## gimpy (Mar 5, 2014)

Love, great way to
start you morning......


----------



## edicehouse (Mar 5, 2014)

Great stuff.


----------



## stonepecker (Mar 5, 2014)

I am sorry to say that the 'sign' at walmart is nothing but a small box with a "RED" x in it.

Our world has gone to the dogs............and they are doing the best that they can.
I have handed someone a $20 and had them give me back change for a $50.  I have also handed someone a $100......and was told that I gave them a $10.  Some word were exchanged.  The manager finally came and 'counted the drawer.......it was over by $200.00+   I wouldn't fire that cashier either.

One time stopped at McDon's......it took them THREE tries to get my order right.  The manager took the order all three times.

Keep smiling.


----------



## Jim Smith (Mar 5, 2014)

Monty,

Sadly, those stories are becoming all too common.  Unfortunately, this level of thinking has made it to Washington as you can tell from this video.

3-25-2010_Hank_Johnson_Guam_Tip_Over.wmv - YouTube

This man is actually my representative in Washington

Jim Smith


----------



## Dan26 (Mar 5, 2014)

Thanks for the chuckle. 

Have we been spelling Kim Car-ian wrong all these years?


----------



## Deadhead (Mar 5, 2014)

Funny, but very scary.


----------



## toddlajoie (Mar 5, 2014)

I once had an argument with a math teacher who insisted that the Mike Tyson Boxing match was NOT over in 90 seconds, it went on for nearly a minute and a half....


----------



## edicehouse (Mar 5, 2014)

I think when I hear someone say something like those, I get confused myself.  How could they not know that. . .


----------



## bobjackson (Mar 5, 2014)

Thanks for the giggles.


----------



## KBs Pensnmore (Mar 6, 2014)

toddlajoie said:


> I once had an argument with a math teacher who insisted that the Mike Tyson Boxing match was NOT over in 90 seconds, it went on for nearly a minute and a half....



When I went to school, about 50yrs ago, I did a maths test and the teacher marked it wrong, did it again and again, still coming up with the wrong answer according to teacher, did it for homework same answer, my parents got the same answer as I did, turns out the answer in the book was wrong. Wonder about the rest of the class??????
Kryn


----------



## BSea (Mar 6, 2014)

I was shopping at a Dillards during a sale.  I bought a shirt that originally was $40 and it was 30% off.  It wouldn't ring up, so the clerk used a calculator to figure the price.  He said the price was $12.  I said that price didn't seem right.  He said no that it was right.  I said that he didn't charge me enough. He looked at me and snarled "*I used a calculator!*". 

No telling how much Dillards lost that day.  I just hope he worked on commission.

Maybe he's now working at Wal Star Mart.:biggrin:


----------



## stonepecker (Mar 6, 2014)

As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I25. Please be careful!"

 "Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!"


----------



## randyrls (Mar 6, 2014)

As per Jeff Foxworthy;  "Here's you sign!"

In complete honesty;  I once did one of the original postings.  BUT, I won't admit it in public....


----------



## Smitty37 (Mar 6, 2014)

KBs Pensnmore said:


> toddlajoie said:
> 
> 
> > I once had an argument with a math teacher who insisted that the Mike Tyson Boxing match was NOT over in 90 seconds, it went on for nearly a minute and a half....
> ...


One of my kids came to me with a question - I gave her the answer and the next day she told me she got it wrong, the the encyclopedia said something else. I told her that the encyclopedia was wrong that what I told her was correct and she should get the teacher to check another source. They did and found I was right. Then they "discovered" that encyclopedias come with errata covering errors found too late to halt printing and that what I'd pointed out was included in the errata.

We had a couple of those in our math books when I was in highschool but our math teacher was capable of doing the problems and finding the errors.  She actually seldom used the book to check our answers, trusting herself more than she trusted them.


----------



## Nikitas (Mar 6, 2014)

I think I almost peed my self...hahahahahahahaha


----------



## TellicoTurning (Mar 6, 2014)

Jim Smith said:


> Monty,
> 
> Sadly, those stories are becoming all too common.  Unfortunately, this level of thinking has made it to Washington as you can tell from this video.
> 
> ...



As I remember Guam from my days at the naval stations there, the island is 32 miles long and 8 miles wide... in 1962 the population was roughly 65,000 including the military personnel... We never really ever thought about it tipping over ... or for that matter blowing away in a typhoon which I endured in Nov of '62.... we had measured wind speeds of 206 mph... 

He was really really stretching to describe the island though....


----------



## TellicoTurning (Mar 6, 2014)

*IDIOT SIGHTING
*The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the     street.
    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She     asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'*

*I remember back just after I started driving, in Texas once you had a license and before they started doing pictures, you could renew it each year just by sending in the fee and the renewal notice.... a man was stopped on the highway from Houston to Dallas because the patrolman noticed a 10 year old boy sitting in his lap... turned out he was totally blind, still licensed and recently renewed... he was handling the pedals and the boy was steering...
*

*


----------



## Smitty37 (Mar 6, 2014)

TellicoTurning said:


> *IDIOT SIGHTING
> *The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
> I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
> ...


Well I personally know a woman here in DE who has a valid photo id license good until about 3 1/2 years from now who is so close to being blind it's scary.  She has glucoma and her eyes just keep getting worse but she passed the test about a year and a half ago (she could barely see then) and we only need to renew every 5 years.  That might change once we're past 80 I'm not sure.


----------



## Marko50 (Mar 7, 2014)

I stopped in at a Taco Bell to grab a quick bite. As I made my order for my crispy taco, the power to the registers went out. All hell broke loose due to the fact that the cash registers could not tell the cashiers how much change to give back. I kid you not. They would not take my money because they could not count back change. They shuttled everyone out and locked the doors.


----------



## Band Saw Box (Mar 7, 2014)

I was at a local fast food place. My order as $5.75 I gave the cashier $6.00. She but in $60.00 and was lost and how much to give me  back k. I said you owe me 25 Cents.  No that's not right let me get my manager. The manager came over did something and the cashier gave me $6.25 back and said thank you.  I gave her $6.00 back told her I did not want her to be short and left she had a deer in the headlights look.


----------



## edicehouse (Mar 9, 2014)

You ever go to a Nascar race?  You always seems to be the Jr fans (guys in mid 20's) with a beer, no shirt, their Jr hat on backwards then cupping over the front of their eyes to block some of the sun.  There are pictures of that, just do not feel like finding them.


----------



## TellicoTurning (Mar 10, 2014)

Band Saw Box said:


> I was at a local fast food place. My order as $5.75 I gave the cashier $6.00. She but in $60.00 and was lost and how much to give me  back k. I said you owe me 25 Cents.  No that's not right let me get my manager. The manager came over did something and the cashier gave me $6.25 back and said thank you.  I gave her $6.00 back told her I did not want her to be short and left she had a deer in the headlights look.



I'm not surprised that kids can't do math, but also wonder that when they finally do figure it out, what happens then.... I was at the local post office this past week and mailed two envelopes that were a little over sized... the postage came to $2.30.... I gave the clerk a $5.... he gave me my change and I left... later I looked at the receipt... it showed I gave him $50 and my change was $47.70....I know that I only walked out with $2.70 in change..... I'm still wondering if he didn't scam the post office for $45 out of that transaction... may be why the post office is losing money.


----------



## Chatham PenWorks (Mar 11, 2014)

TellicoTurning said:


> I'm not surprised that kids can't do math, but also wonder that when they finally do figure it out, what happens then.... I was at the local post office this past week and mailed two envelopes that were a little over sized... the postage came to $2.30.... I gave the clerk a $5.... he gave me my change and I left... later I looked at the receipt... it showed I gave him $50 and my change was $47.70....I know that I only walked out with $2.70 in change..... I'm still wondering if he didn't scam the post office for $45 out of that transaction... may be why the post office is losing money.


That one might be an example of the clerk being able to do simple math in his head. He hit one too many zeros, and didn't catch it until it was too late. Instead of calling the super over to cancel the transaction, he just figured the right change. There's still hope.


----------



## edicehouse (Mar 11, 2014)

Chatham PenWorks said:


> TellicoTurning said:
> 
> 
> > I'm not surprised that kids can't do math, but also wonder that when they finally do figure it out, what happens then.... I was at the local post office this past week and mailed two envelopes that were a little over sized... the postage came to $2.30.... I gave the clerk a $5.... he gave me my change and I left... later I looked at the receipt... it showed I gave him $50 and my change was $47.70....I know that I only walked out with $2.70 in change..... I'm still wondering if he didn't scam the post office for $45 out of that transaction... may be why the post office is losing money.
> ...



I also don't think getting a job at the post office is the same as some of the other min wage places.


----------



## aplpickr (Mar 11, 2014)

50% sale the day after Christmas. String of lights $9.98. Quick mental compute is $4.95 +-a few cents. Cashier can't use cash register for discount, picks up calculator, "Three thirty five, sir".


----------

